By Laurie HandlersWhen people hear the word Tantra, they usually think of kinky sex, the Kama Sutra, something they saw on HBO or on Sex & the City. That's if they've heard of it at all.
I have found many unexpected benefits from practicing this ancient form of Yoga that I'll attempt to share with you here.
I began Tantra like anybody else thinking it would enhance sex making it hotter and maybe even wilder. I had no idea back then how powerful Tantra was to become in every aspect of my life.
Very soon, I became aware of the quieting down in the mind, something I had been trying to accomplish for years to no avail.
Now, after 8 years of practicing Tantra, I am aware that I am not suffering anymore about anything. Did I know this would happen to me? No way.
Tantra translated means weaving body, mind and spirit. What this literally means is that your whole being is expanded, increased through awareness of your senses, feelings and energy. This includes awareness of your breath - the basis of all forms of meditation - with the addition of your sexual energy increasing your ability to feel- specifically feel pleasure - different from other forms of meditation.
So, what is the big deal about it? Why is Tantra, this ancient science surfacing on shows like Oprah or being talked about by Sting?
Well, people feel little if anything. They are mostly living their lives inside of their thoughts, judgments, evaluation and assessments: living in their heads. In terms of pleasure they don't feel very good. When people do feel, it seems like they feel bad, sick, complaining, hurt, victimized.
As a matter of fact they feel little to no pleasure at all. Pleasure shows up as anticipation rather than a sensual experience, one that can be felt.
Remember really wanting something like a new car? Then when you got it, the pleasure didn't last very long, maybe until the first scratch. It wasn't the feeling you expected from acquiring a new car was it?
The mind can imagine something or other will bring us a feeling of pleasure, but it actually takes the body to feel it. For many women, feeling strongly, passionately was discouraged. We were told we were too emotional.
Things were said to us like, "Why do you feel like that? That's not rational." Or "What? Are you having your period or something?"
So, we learned to bury our feelings and experience life in our heads. Our bodies became useful for wearing decorative adornments (attraction) and for getting us somewhere like from meeting to meeting (movement). In essence our bodies have become something we do to or use in certain ways, but not a source of inner knowledge. Not bad, just not pleasurable; not healthy either.
Many women have become automatons rushing to work, caring for children and older family members, trying to be loving to our partners - lovers, husbands, boyfriends. But when it comes time to relax, take a breath, we cannot seem to do it. It's a little frightening to stop and focus on breathing.
We're supposed to be focused on other people's pleasure. When we look to find our own pleasure, even erotic pleasure, there seems not ever to be enough time. Or maybe, just maybe, all those feelings we've been holding down are likely to come rushing up.
That's right, feelings, emotions, senses, intuition, memories will come up.
And then what do we do? Who has time for that anyway? What if we get out of control? Who wants to experience that?
You do!Why is this so important?
You want to feel all of those feelings so you can increase your capacity for pleasure. It's your birthright to feel pleasure and it's also the feminine aspect of life to feel. In essence, it's honoring yourself as a woman (in a world that really doesn't do so much of that).
When you start this way of breathing and sensing, you will naturally feel better, happier, passionate, more alive. The operative word here is "naturally." It is our nature to feel.
Okay, how? Why does this have anything to do with Tantra?
In Tantra we learn to breathe along with doing Kegel exercises and making sounds. So, we learn how to properly breathe. Then we add sphincter muscle and PC muscle contractions to build a charge in our own body using the vital life force - sexual energy. This enables us to feel all our feelings.
Once we feel them, we learn to release stored feelings and memories from the past. We also learn to transmute the sexual energy into spiritual connection with our "higher selves."
The result is eradication of feelings of shame and guilt as well as any other trauma we may have experienced earlier in our lives that's has been stored in our cellular memory.
The outcome = pleasure, permission for unabashed life at it's fullest - body, mind and spirit connected working in union.
Remember I began Tantra thinking it would enhance sex. I had no idea how my life would change. Had I known I would have become interested in it earlier in life. Is sex hotter? Yes. Is that all? No. It's so much more.
The Benefits of Practicing Tantra*:
1. Feel great about yourself - more attractive, self-confident, increase your capacity for more pleasure, experience joy and fulfillment as a way of life.
2. Empower your well-being - eliminate toxins, eliminate stress - accept yourself for who you are & release deep painful cellular memories; feel safe and whole.
3. Focus - set your intentions, do the practices and watch the laws of attraction bring what you want i.e. life partner, more $, career change
4. Uplift your relationships - see others for who they really are, relate to their deep divine nature and trust your intuition
5. Experience the expression of your deepest emotions. Know rapture, love, passion and beyond! Become your own beloved!
*taken from a random sample of 500 Tantra students who have participated in Butterfly Workshops' programs.
