Butterfly Workshops - Tantra, Tantra Courses, Tantric Goddess, Tantra Cafe

Lots of Ch ch ch changes

2010-05-29T18:59:00.002-04:00

Haven't written lately. Been on the road and then arrived home only to go out again to a conference. So, I must say quickly that I am finding I do not recognize myself so much anymore. Between rapid movement recently in NY (no time to sulk or even get pissed about venue needing to change a week before the Ecstasy course), my attendance at Sedona Sex & Consciousness Conference and my involvement with People Unlimited, Inc. I am moving more rapidly through time, space and gravity than ever before. Loving it too!

I basically am not interested in stories of the past - mine or anyone else's. I have lost a whole piece of my ego that I may have thought was gone and now for that matter, I am quick to see when I am interacting with somebody else's. It's kind of boring.

Huge healing has taken place in me with my family of origin. That in itself is amazing.

And I am aware of taking better care of myself than ever before.

Loving life with all it's surprises.

Not Sure How to Get the Feed Working on FB Yet

2010-04-25T14:50:00.002-04:00

I feel pretty confident about technology, but I'm not a geek. Sometimes I wish I was a geek so I could really understand what's going on, what's the one step I could just take if I knew that would enable all that I want to do here.

Whew, I migrated my blog

2010-04-25T14:05:00.001-04:00

I thought it was going to be a difficult process. It wasn't. Thanks for your support, Satinder. You took away my panic.

This blog has moved

2010-04-25T12:43:00.001-04:00

This blog is now located at http://butterflyworkshops.blogspot.com/.
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Being Physically Immortal in a World Full of Death

2010-03-12T00:48:00.004-05:00

I am so happy to know that I can stay here forever. My body loves to be told this daily. I regard myself differently now. I treat myself better. I eat better, exercise better, pay attention to when I am not and make a new choice. I say things like "Knock 'em alive!" and "It's to Live for!" instead of the other alternatives. This has an amazing affect on my life. It would have on yours too! Consider it.

Wake up and pay attention to life! The quality of life is so under-rated because we've been fooled into thinking there is something after this, something better. Pu-lease. Be good to yourself now. There is probably nothing else after this. Now is all there is.

Life takes turns

2010-02-23T22:29:00.002-05:00

Here in Florida...learning the greeen pest control business. Having fun. Seems like a world away from Tantra. That's excatly the way I wanted it. I wanted a living that does not depend upon me and solely my efforts. I feel I have found the ideal scenerio. I love my new business partners and I love the necessity of this business. People hate bugs. Today S. Florida tommorrow the entire country.

My New Biz Start-up

2010-02-04T15:02:00.001-05:00

I am writing to you with a lot of excitement and enthusiasm. I want to share my newest business venture with you both to let you know and also to see if there is possibility in it for you. There is a lot of opportunity in GREEN businesses today and this could be an extremely lucrative option for you.

My new partners and I have gone into business with Lady Bug Pest Control Specialists based in Phoenix, AZ.

Lady Bug offers eco friendly pest control utilizing effective, green products that is safe for children and pets.

Indoors we use environmentally responsible products that we inject in the cracks and crevices that are long lasting and effective. Outside we create multiple barriers preventing pests from entering the home or office. We use products like DE, which is a one cell plant organism that gets mined into a talcum powder type consistency, and when a bug comes in contact with it, it cuts them up and dries them out. Other products are made of clove oil, chrysanthemums and other naturally occurring materials which targets pests’ neuro-transmitters.

Lady Bug really makes a difference in people’s lives, particularly by decreasing the level of exposure to pollutants and toxins from chemicals in their homes, which can lead to cancer and major illnesses - a very real concern, while ridding their homes of unwanted pests like scorpions, spiders, crickets, ants, roaches and so on.

We are currently operating the Master Lady Bug Master Franchises in the state of Florida and looking for people in the Sunshine state who want to own their own business, operate a master franchise in a particular sector of the state and/or own a single franchise or people who immediately want to become customers in the Palm Beach – Broward county areas.

Soon we will be looking for master franchise owners for other states and franchise owners everywhere (US and Global) – plus customers!

Franchising is a great way to expand this concept rapidly, offering great financial opportunities, and having greater exposure in a shorter period of time. Franchising also provides a roadmap to success. It combines the expertise of a successful company with people (possibly you) who have the entrepreneurial mindset and spirit. 90% of small business fail, however, 90% of franchises succeed.

Lady Bug Franchise offers a formula and tools for success that we cover in our training program where we train you in all aspects of running your Lady Bug Franchise from marketing, to administrative functions, to providing service, to scheduling, as well as ongoing support throughout your ownership of the franchise. Your success means our success, so we are 100% committed to both of our success if you own a Lady Bug Franchise or Master Franchise.

Thanks for taking the time to read this message on my blog. I sincerely hope you will take a serious look at this as a valuable possibility for you or someone you know beginning in Florida and spreading to everywhere else. We plan to take the business global within a year.

FYI, I will still be teaching my courses and offering programs in the geographical areas I have been traveling to on a regular basis. I do not plan to stop being an author, radio show host, Tantra teacher, etc. I have simply diversified my opportunity to make a difference on this planet. Consider joining me. Won’t you?

Namaste!

Coming Clean - a Word About Secrets

2010-01-07T13:57:00.001-05:00

I've noticed that when I am holding anything in my body/mind that I feel is secret I cannot be totally present to anything. I've also noticed this when others have asked me not to tell some secret they tell me. If I have something going on with anybody it's the same. It's almost as if I cannot focus on anything else.

I don't want any secrets.

I only want to be completely present in every moment, nothing in the way, clear as water, as the sky.

Namaste!

In the Zone

2009-12-20T01:08:00.004-05:00

It feels to me lately that I have cracked the code to the Matrix. Everywhere I turn there's success, fame, money. Every time I pick up the phone or open my emails,there's tremendous opportunity. And everything connects to everything else!

I feel expansive, expressive, vast and growing bigger and more powerful all the time!

I feel unstoppable, unflappable and really rich beyond my wildest dreams. I even feel that the people the closest to me are experiencing this too!

And inside all this, there's less ego - like a quiet reprieve from the noise of monkey mind. Just wake up and do what has to be done, make sure to care for self physically, give love generously in all forms and keep moving forward!

Great stuff. Love it!

Missing India

2009-12-14T01:48:00.004-05:00

For the last five years I have been in India at this time of year. While I find myself enjoying the holiday spirit with my new friends and beloveds here in Arizona, I feel I am missing India - the whole place, the entire vibe. Just thought I'd say.

I love my life here in the desert. I love the immortals and the entire community. So many wonderful immortal people and so much to be thankful for. Living my life forever is not small thing!

And...there's a certain thing that happens for me when I am in India and it ain't happening now.

So, I quote Osho from India My Love "India is not a country but a mystery. A mystery of a rising lotus as chaste as the morning dew, delicate and sublime. India is the immanent and the transcendental manifested simultaneously leaving deep feelings of wonder and amazement, just as those experienced by a child. So distant and high as the Himalayas and as close and as near as our breath, ethereal like the rainbow and yet so real and alive."

Please join me next year at this time mid Nov-early Dec when I will take another group of Tantric Tourists to India. Please register early.

Vegas was Great!

2009-11-27T11:54:00.003-05:00

What a fabulous time I had in Las Vegas. The film was a tremendous success in the festival. There were many local journalists in attendance who saw all the films and said that Tantric Tourists was the best film entered in the festival by far. Also the director, Alexander Snelling took best director award for first feature film!

And somehow, I was the star of the whole festival! Of course, it helped having my wonderful entourage there with me - my father, Michele, Krishna, Sara, Matt & Sabina, Jackie, Lisa, Yvette and Geno! Wow! I had a built-in cheering squad. What fun!

On My Way to Vegas

2009-11-20T00:46:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm about to embark on another adventure tomorrow - my first trip to Las Vegas! I am so excited to be going. Would not ordinarily go to Vegas, but Tantric Tourists is in the Nevada Film Festival.

And Alex from www.SlackAliceFilms.com is winning the award for best new director across all film categories, i.e. not just for documentary! This is so great, so cool!

I am accepting the award for hm since he will not be making it over from the UK. Wish he was going to be there!

Anyway, it's a great opportunity and maybe even more great things will happen out of this. I believe they will.

Got an entourage of 10 people all together and I promise we will have a blast!

Leaving the East Coast

2009-11-08T20:15:00.004-05:00

I am leaving tomorrow to head back to my new home - Phoenix! I must admit that I cannot wait to get back there. Somehow I am more relaxed there, more into my health there, more into pampering and taking care of myself there! No wonder...I am physically immortal, part of the People Unliited Community!

Yet, I have to say how amazing this trip to the east coast has been. New York, well it doesn't get any better when the City I love loves me back. I arrived in NYC with a royal greeting at the Sex Educators Round-up sometime in late September and finished up yesterday with a BANG - a full course for Bliss: Beginner's Tantra. Almost nothing else feels this good to me as making it in New York.

And in between, there's so much that is memorable...walking the red carpet at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival, the Bliss courses in Boston and Philly, my trip to Chicago to meet Brad Saul of www.WebTalkRadio.net, the New Life Expo in NYC, the TV interview I just shot with Steven Otero of Sexy Spirits. Along the way I saw many friends and loved ones including teeni, Om, Brian, Topaz, Marilyn, Kenny and Meryl, Dyana-Jean, Rafael, Amanda and Neil and many more! Plus had a fabulous business meeting with colleagues in Palm Lakes, Florida.

It's all been so amazing!

Overall, I feel thankful, grateful and lucky to be me.

On to a whole new episode when I bring my aging father with me to Phoenix to have a couple of minor surgeries and host him for the winter for the first time. He hates leaving Fire Island, but this time there's no avoiding it. He has surrendered.

And so have I.

And I have had the best night's sleep I can remember since leaving DC and knowing I had to care for him. Yipee!

Chicago. Chicago - It's a Wonderful Town!

2009-10-13T00:41:00.003-04:00

Who said that? Frank Sinatra?

Well he was right!

I was there for 3 days this week and loved every minute of it except for when I fell down in the street. It was great. Loved the coolness after the AZ summer I went through. Yes, and there was a big dent in the sidewalk that resulted in my falling down on the sidewalk. Yet I did not let that stop me (only for a minute).

The buildings were cool. The city so walkable/managable everything so close!

The best was meeting Brad Saul from http://www.WebTalkRadio.net, president of many radio stations. What an inspiration he is!

Then meeting with Vijay Puniani from http://www.chutneyjoes.com the US first Indian fast food - so great!

Finally meeting with Melissa, my "bad girl" leader from my stay Sivananda Ashram in the south of India a couple years ago. So much fun we two have whenever we get together.

What a great time in the Windy City!

Lots of possibilituies to go back and do my form of Tantra! Can't get any beter than that as far as I am concerned.

Back in NYC

2009-10-06T12:56:00.004-04:00

Well, I anticipated being back in New York would be a rush and so it is!

Loved every moment of the Sex Educators Round-up last weekend. Saw old friends and met new. Actually met people who've been my friend on one social media or another and finally said hello face to face.

Was particularly heartened by the astounding acceptance people gave towards Emotional Release (ER) techniques. My talk was Working with Powerful Emotions. Maybe it got billed as Intense Emotions. Anyway, I had 40 mintues to convey how important it is to use sex as a portal to work through these emotions because they are bound to come up. They have to. The 1st and 2nd Chakras house all the survival and emotional cellular memories in our lives.

I called someone up to demo a bioenergetic form of ER. After explaining rhe technique and having him do it, I opened for Q & A. People asked to see me do it to make sure to really see what was meant. Loved it!

Then we did Egyptian Cleansing Breath and the Rapture from Yogaboxing. Everyone really liked it. I can remember when I first showed up teaching Tantra in NYC in 1998and people called me a drill sargeant because they preferred only nicey nicey touchy Tantra back then. Boy have we all come a long way! So happy about it!

I feel it is one of the most important keys to sexual health, personal freedom and transformation.

For more info and to puirchase my self-explanatory CD Shamanic Release & Latihan please visit http://www.ButterflyWorkshops.com.

Tantric Tourists Premiere USA!

2009-09-04T02:08:00.006-04:00

October 24!!! 4pm Cinema Paradiso, Ft Lauderdale!

Well, it's about time! After waiting an excruciating amount of time, the film is finally making it's US debut at the Fort Lauderdale Film Festival. How great is that! I think very!

I'm trying to find out if I'll be doing some Tantra thing there along with the screening. Love to. Hope it turns out that way.

Got lots of people coming in for this event - big posse arriving. And I hope Alex and Kirsty of Slack Alice Films will be in attendance as well. It promises to be huge reunion of he cast and i know it will just be a blast to be there and together again.

Maybe you can make it down for the showing too, yes?

PLUS: EXCLUSIVE OFFER: IF YOU SIGN UP ON THE FACEBOOK TANTRIC TOURISTS FANS SITE, FOR UPDATES & INFO ON OUR FORTHCOMING AWARD-WINNING & CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILM, IT WILL QUALIFY YOU FOR AN AUTOMATIC 33% DISCOUNT ON THE FORTHCOMING TANTRIC TOURISTS... DVD. AND...FYI if you so desire you can pay it forward by paying the full price or more once it's published to help defray production costs and get the message out there.

Radio Shows Galore!

2009-09-04T02:02:00.006-04:00

Last night was such a surprise! Right in the middle of broadcasting my farewell show from www.BBSRadio.com, to move to www.WebTalkRadio.net, my producer and technician came on the air and begged me to stay. Talk about feeling loved and flattered and adored and WOW...men fighting for me (like some wild fantasy)!

Anyway, I am going to have it all!

I am moving to WebTalkRadio and I am also going to stay at BBSRadio. I get the best of both possible worlds.

I'll be posting much more about all this in days to come.

So exciting!

Summer Special

2009-08-20T18:24:00.002-04:00

I've decided to see how I'm doing in the realm of Social Media Networking, the hottest and latest buzz by posting a summer special for the sale of my book. It's really a test to see how these things are geared for driving traffic to websites, my websites and to distinguish whether product can be sold with these unconventional methods of branding, advertising and enrollment.

Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy @ $5 off cover price till the end of August is what I've posted!

Please pick up a copy for yourself! Let me know how well I'm doing on here:-)

Long Time - No Communicate

2009-08-10T02:24:00.004-04:00

Wow, it's been 3 months since I last wrote on here! How time flies when you're having a good time. Well, I made it to Phoenix on May 7th.

What a hoot driving across country with Michele! We dialed for dollars as we drove. What a sight! Both of us on our cell phones talking to people franticly and furiously about our new venture Talk Fushion. For more info on how to get this amazing product for yourself, write to me at laurie@butterflyworkshops.com. I will tell you how to create videos instead of writing emails. So much fun and so much better of a message.

Anyway, the highlight of the trip was Graceland! We stopped there to visit the King! But I'll tell you the place was spooky. I mean they had an automatic cleaning device in the pool out back as if Elvis was gonna come home any moment and take a dip. Pu-lease! He's not coming home and worse; after he was abused and mismanaged he is still dead! What a drag! We ended up so sad about it. Needed a stiff drink.

Anyway, a few days later we arrived in Phoenix and I have not looked back.

I love my new home. I have found this city easy to access and it's been relatively easy to meet people. I've found the things that turn me on like salsa, swing and tango. There is even a great Tantra meet-up group here. I have regularly been in meetings and socialized with my new community: People Unlimited http://www.PeopleUnlimitedInc.com. I feel even more strongly now about physical immortality than before and I am just so happy to have found my tribe.

I pinch myself each and every day. I feel lucky and grateful for my existence. I live in a virtual paradise. I swim 100 laps every day and do yoga in my backyard. My new place is literally a spa. My dreams have come true in so many ways that all I can say is WOW!

Life is grand! I am joyous!

I'm including a pic I snapped looking out the window of my new home office at sunset. More photos later.

Hula Hoop Queen

2009-05-31T17:36:00.003-04:00

So, since I now have a swimming pool to swim laps in everyday and do water aerobics in, I figured I'd purchase a hula hoop to augment my daily yoga and put some emphasis on my waist. After all the first lady, Michelle Obama does hula hoop. Why shouldn't I?

I figured it was just like riding a bicycle, once you have the distinction balance, you just hop right back on that bike no matter how long it's been and off you go.

WRONG!

I cannot for the life of me twist myself enough to keep the damn thing up. It falls to the ground after one twist. I can only imagine this is what a limp dick feels like to some of the fellas out there. Just can't keep it up.

Well, now I am challenged. I will find the viagra of hula hoop or my name isn't Laurie Handlers!

Prophets vs Profit

2009-05-01T00:17:00.005-04:00

Well, I almost split a gut yesterday after receiving an email from the Prophets Conference about a trip to India, a tour of the south actually.

I happened to notice that the tour was interesting incorporating 4 ashrams and the spiritual teachings of some great masters. I decided to check it our further. I read all that was advertised and saw that the tour is exactly the length of the tours I run in India. The places are different, but some of what happens is basically the same. I instruct basic Tantric meditation techniques when I bring people on tour plus Latihan and surrender. I bring them to major sites in the middle part - the Heart of India.

I sent a couple of emails to the group to find the price they were charging because I got interested in what they might be making for the very same amount of time that I bring people. Well, when I finally got to the correct spot on their site I almost had a cow which for India is a sacrilege. I choked.

The Prophets are making the profits, Baby!

Never again will I be concerned about what I charge people. Really.

Here's the comparison:

THEIR COSTS WITHOUT AIRFARE:
$4615 (greeting at Chennai airport and transfer to hotel is included)

MY COSTS WITHOUT AIRFARE:
$2200 (greeting at Delhi airport and transfer to hotel is included)

You do the math. WTF was I thinking?

Comments are welcomed!

On My Way

2009-04-28T22:33:00.002-04:00

Just completed Bliss and Ecstasy in the woods this past weekend. What courses! They were magnificent. What I can say is that 17 people got free. They got more than they ever imagined according to them. I like it when this happens. What workshop leader wouldn't want to know that? I take such pleasure in fulfilling my life's purpose - freedom, truth, passion and fun.

Last night there was a farewell party for me in Manhattan at Om and Jennifer's place. It was so wonderful to see my friends there. I felt honored and celebrated. AND I was so tired from the weekend that at around 10:30pm after two cosmos, I passed totally out. I mean out cold! Wow! I'm pretty sure that everyone continued to have a good time even though I was flat on my back most likely snoring. Oh well, the down side of fulfilling life's purpose.

So, this week I pack the rest of my belongings and drive off to Phoenix. I hope to be there by cinco de mayo. I will most definitely enjoy my first Margarita in my new home. I am really looking forward to this move.

I plan to relax more, workout at the gym more, do more yoga. spend time walking and hiking, dancing and possibly even returning to running. I know my immortal family will support me in all this. Can't wait.

In addition, I plan to take bio-identical hormones to boost my age regression. More on this when I see the effects on my body.

Rising Phoenix

2009-03-17T01:18:00.005-04:00

You know, since Svaroopa a lot has happened in my body. First if all, I have a virtually non-constricted body existence. I hate using that term, but I cannot find another that does not conjure up the negative. It sucks. Pain-free conjures pain. Non-constricted conjures constriction. It bugs me that we inherited this language and it dwells in the negative far more than the positive. Long ago I realized that when I was suffering I could wax poetic. I could go on and on, but when I was happy, there were very few words. Why is this?

Okay so all this to say that I am feeling great both because of the cleanse and the Svapoopa course I took. I wish this on everyone. When I ahve been driving for hours (which I have been lately) I simply get out of the car take a hot bath and then do Svaroopa and I work out all the kinks before I got to be. If they come back in the night, I do it again in the morning and really I am free. I have a freedom of movement in my body that I never had before.

Do I think there's any connection between being physically immortal and being free in my body, you betcha! I feel this way because I now think this way and I take the appropriate actions to feel this way on a continuous basis because everyday I am thinking about moving faster than death.

I closed on my new house last week in Phoenix, AZ. It was such a surprise to me even though I knew what I was doing. I am a happy girl. I cannot wait to be there in my new dream home and to be close to People Unlimited. I am turned on and inspired.

This past month I have been in New York City, Daytona Beach, Ft. Lauderdale and Orlando, Florida, Philadelphia, PA, Woodstock, MD and Washington DC. What a whirlwind. And the amazing thing is that it has all gone so well. People are coming out of the woodwork to support Butterfly Tantra. Students are showing up in places where I cannot predict. Life is an exciting adventure to say the least growing exponentially moment by moment.

Thank you all who have played your part. I could not have done it without you.

So much love...

Svarooooooooooopa!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-29T21:42:00.003-05:00

Instead of going to an Inaugural Ball, I invested in my body. After all, if I am going to be alive forever, I need to keep my body supple and fabulous! So I went to a five day course in Svaroopa Yoga in Malvern, PA.

I had no idea what to expect except for some of the postures because Krishna has shared them with me often. It's the kind of yoga he is trained in and is in love with. But I must admit I never quite got it.

He would often say that we must do Svaroopa after other exercise, after love making, after yoga for Christ's sake! I did it, but I couldn't get it even though I could feel the benefits.

Well this week, I really got it! Really.

First of all I cannot believe that I got up at 5am every day to go to this course. It started at 7am and went until 9pm each day. Yikes! But that's nothing. I loved the work. I loved the postures. I loved learning to pit others into the postures. Although it's very different from regular Hatha, from Hot yoga, from power yoga, from Ashtanga yoga, it held my interest. Most of all I received benefits from it from the moment we began.

We put ourselves in gentle poses designed to unravel the tailbone and sacrum. Guess what...it all starts and ends there at the tailbone. My whole body responded. It responded quickly. Wow, I was free from pain, free from restriction and opened up completely. Years of strain fell away. How could it be this simple? Blew my mind.

So life affirming. So immortal!

I came away feeling I had grown by a quarter of an inch. That's saying something. Even my back and neck which regularly crack with adjustments would not. These habitual adjustments were not necessary.

I say WOW! Svaroopa is for me. I am going to save my money by not joining a gym.

I plan to devote a show on my radio program Tantra Cafe at www.BBSRadio.com and www.Tantraafe.com to the benefits of Svaroopa. Everyone should know about it. Especially people who want to live fully.

2009 is Bangin' Alive

2009-01-17T00:51:00.004-05:00

I am so happy to be alive in this New Year! I am moved to the marrow!

I was in Phoenix/Scottsdale for the holidays. What a time there with my Immortal family! I have never had such a time with so life-positive people. We partied when there were parties and partied in between the parties. I loved my time there. I can't wait to get back there. I started falling in love with the desert.

Wow, what to say? I want people to stay alive. I want the people I know and love to live forever. I believe it's possible, just have to re-program the neurology. Have to give up the death urge, the death programming, the death profit.

I'm passionate about it.

I'm loving life more than ever before.

Goa - Ahhhhhhhhhh!

2008-12-25T09:48:00.014-05:00

I absolutely loved my time in Goa. It was so relaxing and wonderful. It’s rare in my life that I do nothing. In Goa, I walk to the beach and back every day. In between I sit on a chase lounge (they call it a bed) and I order fresh lime soda with salt (an Indian specialty). Then I eat tasty treats along with salad. Goa is the only place outside of the Osho Ashram where a Westerner can eat salad.

The water in the Arabian Sea is as warm as a bathtub with small waves. The weather is perfect every single day.

Most people have heard of the scene in Goa; the trance party and drug scene. But I go to Goa for R & R.

I stayed with my dear friends Sirus and Shantana. Their new inn has a pool and is rigged up with a cottage, a dorm and four bamboo huts. I took one of the huts. Loved being in nature.

On Osho’s birthday December 11th and a couple more times we did Kundalini Meditation in their new meditation hall. One time I even did whirling. I had a wonderful time.
Leaving Goa, I felt so happy…I felt rested, loved, taken care of and inspired to return home to create new projects.

A best seller book campaign with the second printing of my book Sex & Happiness. New guests and new shows on Tantra Cafe. A Teacher Training Program for Butterfly Workshops - lots of new stuff. Oh, a second book! And new territories for Butterfly Tantra starting with Phoenix/Scottsdale!

I love the New Year!

Unbreak My Heart

2008-12-12T05:19:00.001-05:00

Funny, when we first arrived in India this time for the tour, we all heard the song Unbreak My Heart by Toni Braxton. I don’t particularly care for this song because I feels it implies the ability to heal comes from outside me, like someone should fix me in a certain way. And when people seemed to keep singing it throughout the tour I was not so happy about it. But especially when I kept singing it, when the tune stuck with me like white on rice, I was dismayed. “Unbeak my heart. Say you love me again.”

And so funny is life with quick lessons.

While in the Osho Ashram in Pune, I created a new course for couples. I like it fine. I am happy to have been so inspired by the Nadabrahma Meditation.
And most of all, I am happy to have ended this Heart of India Tour on a high note. I will not do it again. It is retired and so be it.

A couple days ago while on the Deluxe AC Sleeper bus to Goa, I had the most amazing realization. I was pleasantly surprised that the bus was totally new and clean. Plus they supplied, clean linens – pillows, sheets and blankets. And the compartment that contained Krishna and me was large enough for both of us to sleep and to keep our valuables. We slept soundly. Listen, if we wanted we could have joined the “mile low club,” but we did not. We did have enough comfort and privacy, but I did not want to. Possibly because we were both coughing from Pune pollution. But it’s good to note for the next time.

I cannot get over what difference a year or two makes in India. If you are interested to see what my first sleeper bus to Goa experience was like, please go back in the archives of this blog to laugh your ass off at the hysterical time I had then, one of my biggest lessons. It would appear here in January 2006.

So, now we are in Morjim, the most beautiful and quiet part of Goa, settled in to our “luxury” hut along with the frogs and the mosquitoes and the lovely white netting to keep us safe. We eat on the beach and lie on big lounges called “beds” and swim for hours in the Arabian Sea. The connection with my sannayasin friends, Sirus and Shantana is as strong as ever. The love between us can be felt so strongly, it’s tangible.

We celebrated Osho’s birthday with a group of people invited over to my friend’s brand new meditation and music center. We did Kundalini Meditation, listened to an Osho discourse on immortality as fate would have it and then after dinner, we were showered with live sitar, Persian strings and tabla music. Wow, paradise!

So, all this to say that on the bus, I awoke to the “a ha” that this trip has re-reminded me of how much I love India. And the result…my heart has become unbroken. So, this constant signing of a song I don’t even care for has awakened me to the fact that last year my heart was broken on the tour and for weeks after by the people’s reactions to India and me, by their sheer resistance to India and circumstances that probably could not have been avoided. Actually, the circumstances were perfect for whatever those exact people needed to get including me, but certainly not all who attended that tour have even begun to get the lesson as yet. It was a huge lesson for me in surrender and Latihan for which I am grateful and still feel the reverberations in every aspect of my life. You can read about this too in the blog January 2008.

And so returning to India this year against the back drop of the last tour, I have unbroken my heart. “…say you love me again.” I love me again and I love India again. I love me in India again. Such a gift!

Almost Forgot Major Experience

2008-12-08T22:09:00.003-05:00

On the way to the Taj Mahal, while visiting Fatehpur Shikri, the ancient home of Akbar, renowned ruler of India, we stopped to go inside the shrine of the Sufi master who was his trusted adviser. I did not go inside because I have been there many times. So I waited outside with our guides.

Suddenly I was called to join a group of Sufi chanters who were sitting outside the temple. When I explained to them that I had no money to offer since I had left all my things on our bus, they insisted I join in anyway. So I sat down and began to chant with them.

Soon, as each of our group exited this temple after tying sacred strings onto the carved windows and making their wishes, they joined me for sitting and chanting.

Pretty soon, there was a big crowd all around us all joining in. It was another really high point in our experience.

I will post the photo as soon as I have one.

Khajuraho - the Jewel in the Crown of India

2008-12-03T21:41:00.006-05:00

Well, after the riot of color on our senses in the Varanasi silk factory, and a visit to Saranuth, the place where Buddha made his first enlightened speech, we shoved off for Khajuraho. Many were under the weather and facing health challenges, but as always happens, when we reach that country town of Khajuraho with the clean air and traffic free tree-lined roads, people sighed with relief.

Just as lovely as always, Khajuraho greeted us with her majestic Kama Sutra temples and calmed us. We dropped into the deepest of our sensations. People visited many of the temple groupings and roamed freely. The temples are so spectacular, what's not to like?

For me, the highlight was re-visiting the little traditional village and especially the school. The principal has made many new changes to the building structure that my groups continue to fund. I saw four new classrooms started, a far cry from the original state of two outdoor sit-on-the-ground rooms when we originally visited three years ago, the year we filmed Tantric Tourists.

When we arrived, the children were all in one big room reciting poetry and singing songs. They were thrilled to see us and performed for us with splendor. Then we had our chance to perform for them. Deborah, Maggie and I sang the old Donovan tune "Happiness Runs in a Circular Motion." We had Krishna, Obie, Ray and Alexandra singing back-up. It was completely fun and the children applauded for us with glee.

Then we walked to the temple nearest the village with a group of children following us as always happens. We performed a lovely puja s sun set over the Khajuraho mountains. What a lovely way to our tour together.

First Subscriber! Another Dream Comes True!

2008-12-03T04:44:00.007-05:00

While I have been here in India, other things have been going on in my world. Thanks to the internet, people can order my book Sex & Happiness, my CD Shamanic Release & Latihan. They can register for upcoming Tantra courses or Leadership, Integrity & Service. Teleseminars and web streaming courses can be conducted for Butterfly Workshops where people can participate even while I am away.

And these things have happened over the last few days and continue as I write. Michele Wortman is preparing to do a streaming video course this coming Thursday evening for people who want to learn How to Assist at Butterfly Workshops. And participants can tune in and experience it live from anywhere in the world!

Ain't technology amazing?

Well, the thing that really moved me during this time is that one of my former students from Philly, Elaine Miles, wrote an email telling me how much she has been enjoying Tantra Cafe, my radio show. She stated that she enjoys it so much, she wants to contribute $10 a month towards it's production costs starting with this month.

Now, let me tell you that this is yet another dream of mine coming to fruition. I was recently planning to offer some kind of incentive to students and other supporters to have them send a monthly contribution ongoingly, something small that makes it affordable, yet helps me to keep certain ongoing production costs from being prohibitive. What a valuable contribution she's making! And hopefully, she's starting a new trend within the Butterfly Workshops Community!

In the Shadows of Mumbai Terrorism

2008-12-03T04:26:00.008-05:00

From the moment people arrived in Varanasi (formerly known as Benares), they went for it. Even when we received the news that Mumbai was under attack by terrorists, there wasn't one chicken in the bunch. Everything just proceeded as planned. Nobody expressed the urge to turn back or leave India. As a matter of fact, in my opinion, they lived the experience more fully.

An example of this is people demanding to go to the crematoriums where bodies are burned on the ghats of the Ganges. Usually my groups want to see these burning ghats, but from a far. This group got out of the boat and walked right up to the borders of the crematoriums and stood there for quite a long while just observing the bodies burning, not a squeamish stomach to be found in this group. While there, we even got to observe one body being wrapped in white being prepared to go onto the fires.

But of all the surprises I experienced with this group, I could not have prepared myself for the shock of Maggie diving off the boat into the Ganga followed by Ray, Brian, Krishna and Stephen! Oh I think my mouth fell down to the bottom of the boat! Stunning it was, simply stunning.

And as a side note, Stephen, being British and after all these years of Tantra, knew he had to give up his stuckness, sent his knickers (underwear) floating down the Ganga to boot!

The Ganges River, or Ganga, as it is called here in India is a pilgrimage place. Hindus come from all over the world to purify themselves from all worldly sins by dipping themselves or swimming in the water. But a group of Westerners purifying themselves in the Ganga? No way! For the years I have come to the Ganga before, nobody would ever have wanted to put their pinky toe in. So, I believe I will always carry this memory of the big-heartedness of this group! Just amazing!

Overnight Train to Varanasi - a hit!

2008-12-03T04:21:00.004-05:00

People loved being in the train overnight from Agra to Varanasi. This year, Amit and I organized the train entrance much better than ever so there were no mix-ups as to where the luggage was going and who was sleeping in what compartment. It also helped that we were grouped together in two different groups, yet nobody was isolated like I have been for the last two tours.

I thought I would make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches once we got settled in, but your know what? Everybody went right to sleep!

And in the morning when we were being picked up at the train station, they all commented on how well they slept. Brian, one of the participants, said it was probably his best night's sleep since arriving in India. Go figure.

I really must say I am so proud about how these people are embracing the experience of India.

Halfway Through the Tour

2008-12-03T04:00:00.007-05:00

Well, Jaipur was just okay. I think if I return and do this same tour, I will eliminate this part. Even though I am fascinated with this city and it's history, my groups don't seem to be except for the Kali Temple inside the Amber Fort. I think we could find another Kali Temple somewhere to satisfy the need to commune with Kali. I will look into it. Even the elephant ride doesn't seem to be a highlight for people, so hey, why fight it?

Agra was another story altogether. People loved the Taj Mahal. They wanted to stay there longer although I find this city to be wretched. Just goes to show that different people see things differently.

There has been a noticeable lack of complaining on the part of the group this year. Instead, there's been an open and energetic experience of embracing everything, even some Delhi Belly and some constipation. People are feeling the food to be excellent and have mostly liked the accommodations. Maybe you don't know this, but on my tours people play musical rooms quite like musical chairs so that nobody gets stuck with anyone that may be disagreeable. This strategy also prevents clicks from forming. This keeps everything fresh. Every time we stop at another city, people change roommates. So far so great this time around - a very agreeable bunch.

I'm having the thought that I may have prepared this group for this trip better than I did the last. I based a lot of my pre-trip communications on the feedback from last year. I must admit that one thing that still sticks in my craw about the tour last year is that I think people still haven't taken full responsibility for their share in creating some of the difficulties. As spiritual beings, I believe we are responsible for everything that happens and everything that doesn't happen in our lives. And even though I know a few of the tourists from the past adhere to this paradigm, they have not demonstrated fully getting it at least to me. I may still have some completing to do on a deeper level with a few folks.

One of the great blessings for me on this trip is to have Deborah Anapol along. We are bonding nicely with each other and I am quite happy about it after knowing of each other for so long. There's a lot we have to share and lots of time to do it in.

Surprise Surprise - What a Tour this Year!

2008-12-01T05:44:00.010-05:00

I held my breath on the morning of November 20th until I saw the beautiful big bus that arrived to get us. I had already set my sights on the best Tantra Tour ever.

While I did not particularly like the Delhi Hotel we stayed at, Hotel Blessings (not such a blessing), I had high intentions for the rest of the tour and I was not disappointed in the least.

On board the bus, we introduced ourselves, did some Tantric Charging and Transmutation breaths and even got in some Emotional Release. We arrived in Pushkar in time for some early evening gentle yoga with Krishna in the garden of our hotel. The following morning we climbed Savitri mountain and did some Shakti-Shiva Mudras in addition to the White Crane Series. Many of you who have done the Ongoing Sex & Heart Series will remember these I hope. Lovely scenery was the setting for an invigorating time.

The best thing that happened in Pushkar was what did not happen. Usually, the Hindu priests there corner my group members one by one and coerce them into doing puja at the lake. This year we hired one priest for all of the group and he did a great job for all. This was a much better plan. Of course, when the ceremony was over, he asked people for double what we had agreed to was the price and I had to speak to him and our guide about it, but for the most part I was satisfied with the outcome. People really love the puja ceremony performed there.

Then we set out for Jaipur.

Back in India Once Again

2008-11-19T01:49:00.004-05:00

I’m back in India and while I am as in love with India as ever, I notice I am looking with a sense of new eyes.

This is a good thing. I’m checking things more thoroughly than before. I’m anticipating anything that could possibly go wrong and putting into place alternatives for “just in case” scenarios.

I feel good to do this even though I choose to operate in positive intention rather than doomsday saying, “What if…?” and “What if…?” Yet I can see that it is a necessity as an alternative to getting fucked if something possibly goes wrong.

I can hardly blame myself because that is exactly what happened last year and even when I think the thing done and complete another layer surfaces to remind me.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I have so grown as a result. I have let go of all the attachment and grown. And then even so attachment still comes up from time to time to bite me or haunt me. Oh well, I can embrace this too.

So, I find myself excited, scared, ecstatic – all of it – to be in India once again. I did not/would not let last year's experience stop me. I’m taking my chances with the tour with people I don’t know and people I do know. Should be interesting at least and exhilarating at best.

I am looking forward to every moment yet with a different take, a more aware take, a more “take charge” attitude having found out that not everyone can hang in India. Not everyone can surrender to the “mother” no matter how enlightened or how much work they have done on themselves. India will steam roll people and troll for surrendered survivors. Yes, she will.

And so for the last few years I have been the cause and source of such a process. And I plan to continue this no matter what.

What a great thing it turns out to be! It causes me to examine every inch of myself. Every inch!!!

Countdown to India

2008-11-11T17:05:00.005-05:00

Yes, I am returning to India this year to take another eleven people on tour and get a good injection of the Mother of all mothers once again.

I leave the US in four days and I am so excited to be going.

I wonder what adventure awaits me this time. I certainly hope this group connect more naturally than the last one. I feel certain that it will be a very successful journey.

I am doing this trip because last January I declared myself unstoppable and ever since then I felt just that - able to continue forward despite unforeseen circumstances, despite unpopularity, despite what anyone else thinks or says. I feel empowered and more successful and whole than ever. I am sure that the awful happenings on last year's tour had a lot to do with it. My metal was tested and I feel tremendous personal gratitude and accomplishment as a result. My integrity remains in tact.

I'll be blogging along the way in case you choose to follow along.

Oh and by the way, I'll be back before the holidays this year so that I can spend X-mas to New Years with the Immortals in Scottsdale. Then in early January I'll be offering a Bliss: Beginner's Tantra course in Scottsdale/Phoenix for the first time.

I love having it all!

The Country Pushed the BLUE BUTTON and Jumped into the Unknown

2008-11-05T01:20:00.005-05:00

What a historic day! I am crying with tears of joy! I am so happy and astounded at what has just happened in America! Here's the email I just got from Barack Obama:

"Laurie --

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack"

How wonderful is that? You know, when I went into to voting place today, I was very nonchalant, but as I walked back to my car, I noticed I was crying. I was so moved. I had forgotten the things I have done all my life to get Barack Obama elected. It wasn't just the last few months of doing something for 20 minutes a day. It was everything I've done from the day I was born to bring a certain quality of life to all people, my urge to make a difference.

I thought back to all the programs I have led that have empowered disempowered people. I was reminded of the Give a Damn program I directed for Mayor of New York John Lindsay called Astoria Youth in Action in 1966. Then I remembered the 5th and 6th grade students I taught at Carver Elementary School in Washington, DC and the Poor People's Campaign with Dr. Martin Luther King. Then there was TARGET, the grant program I created to help teens in DC stay away from drugs and the grant I wrote for the Muslim movement in DC. There were the countless teens I urged to register to vote as soon as they were able during the years I was an ANC Commissioner in DC. When I was on staff at Landmark Education I stood for the Landmark Forum for People of African Decent until it manifested. And then there were the Welfare-to-Work folks who were trained by my company to take on the new responsibility of finding and keeping a job during the Clinton administration.

Yes, I made this happen today by everything I've ever done and I am so proud and happy. I am living an amazing life and many others are today as well. I always imagined it was possible although against all odds. The whole world just shifted today for the better as far as I am concerned. The US election caused a dramatic shift in the entire world and the odds have changed.

Someone with HEART got elected. Someone with SPIRIT got elected. Someone who is an INSPIRATION to all people got elected. TODAY!

How grand is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the best. This is the first time in a long time I am proud to be American. My heart is spilling over with joy.

20 Minutes a Day for Obama

2008-10-07T20:18:00.003-04:00

I have committed to devoting 20 minutes per day to doing something for Obama. So, today I sent out something about a PBS poll. I gave money last week and wrote personal emails to a bunch of clients and former colleagues. The results were inspiring. I felt like I was taking a risk, but realize it is a greater risk not to do it. My consulting business went down the toilet during Republican administrations.

I love my life, don't get me wrong. I love teaching Tantra and the reason I teach Tantra full time is because I had to. When Bush got elected and I watched my government contracts evaporate, I said to myself, "Well I'll just have to build up my seminar business." Luckily I am good at it.

Not sure what I am going to do tomorrow in favor of Obama for President, but I'm sure I'll think of something creative.

I am inspired because so many of my friends have written back saying they put signs up on their lawns (a first) and they gave money (a first) and they put stickers on their cars. Some of my friends are going to Ohio until the election is over. Others have already volunteered to make campaign calls. And when I started writing, I had no idea which side of the fence they were on. So when the news came back that they were in favor of a major change, I got happy.

I hope you will be inspired to take 20 minutes a day for Obama too. Imagine if everyone you knew did this! How about taking it on?

How Politics Affects My Business

2008-09-05T11:11:00.004-04:00

For years now, I have been a consultant to industry, I mean since the 70's. What I have noticed with dismay is that every time a Republican gets elected, my consulting business goes down the toilet. It first happened with Reagan. At the time I lived in Boston and had government contracts as well as consulting gigs with companies like Digital, Raytheon, Wang. Within months of Reagan taking office, everything dried up. My type of consulting is human relations training and transformation. Am I surprised that this would happen under a war-monger regime?

And this happened again with Bush senior and Bush junior. This time I was living in Washington, DC. I had many government contracts in teen education drug prevention programs and Welfare-to-Work Reform both federal and state. Well, as soon as George W. came in, there was no more W-T-W reform. I am so tired of watching my business go up and down like a yo yo.

Of course, I have now created a business that doesn't seem to ride the roller coaster anymore - Tantra! It seems people want to know more about sexuality and how to receive and give pleasure in all aspects of their lives no matter who is in office. Sex sells. That's all there is to it. And I am happier than ever based on what I do, how I feel and how others feel who have been to my classes. Nevertheless, I want a change in this country. I want it right now!

I'd like to see hard working people who care a lot about people actually get somewhere. I'd like to see the housing market recover the American Dream. I'd like to stop paying all my money for gas! I'd like to see young soldiers returning to their homes and loved ones. I'd like to see the planet's health restored.

I could go on and on.

Let's get Obama elected, yes?

Another Cosmic Joke - Ha Ha!

2008-08-28T17:58:00.003-04:00

So, I posted the other day that I was torn between India and Scottsdale right? And I said that I planned to keep some kind of tie to India no matter what for all the reasons I stated - loving it and being honored there and wanting to be a part of a rising super power and on and on. I believe I stated this as an intention.

Well, wouldn't you know it that the intention started to get fulfilled a day or so later. That's what so great about this Tantra stuff. It's fast, man! Plus having cleansed, I am super clear and I notice I've been manifesting like lightening.

All I have to do is think of someone for a moment and the next instant they call me. It's been happening for the last week or two. I mean people who I haven't talked to in ten years!

Anyway, then my friend/student who mentioned the idea of starting an ashram of our own to me a couple years ago called a couple days ago. I had given up on this notion of creating something together with him in India because at the time we first spoke of it he got awfully distracted for personal and professional reasons. So, I just continued on with the idea of purchasing an apartment in Pune or somewhere else. And then of course when Arizona pulled up onto my radar screen, well I just kind of figured I'd have to choose.

But I did write my intention in the last blog post. That's right I did!

So what happens? He calls me and says he is ready now. He will be going to India in 2009 with the express purpose of finding a place to build an ashram there where I can live and teach and he can relax. Uh hellooooooooooooooooo! What?

This is just too good. Now I do not have to choose. I can have it exactly the way I want it. I can have it all! I can move to Scottsdale. I can come back to NYC for a couple three months per year or more to work the east coast AND I can travel and teach in India. And anything else I want I can say and have it be so.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love this intention stuff.

Tantra is da' bomb!

Ch-ch-ch-changes! India? Scottsdale?

2008-08-25T21:55:00.005-04:00

I have just completed 13 days of a cleanse (see my last post). I feel as clear as the Caribbean. I am incredibly thrilled to have completed this challenge and I am reaping the benefits. I feel so light and free and when I look in the mirror I have my 1997 body back. Yeah Baby! What a reward!

So, in light of this clarity, I find I am confronted with an interesting change of mind/heart/plans. As you know I have been traveling to India for the past few years now, actually considering moving there, looking for the perfect spot, home for my soul.

What you should know is that there is something calling me even bigger than India now and I have lost some interest in continuing to roam around India looking for some type of spiritual cosmic divine intervention having to do with the divine feminine or something "je ne sais crois". Basically, I have had a radical shift.

Don't get me wrong - I adore India! And I still plan to have some permanent tie there like an apartment or a business that keeps me going there - not only because I love it, but also because it is arising as a superpower along with China and I want to be a part of it. I want to have somewhere on earth where I feel I am part of something rising rather than something deteriorating if that is even possible or maybe just a place to call home when all the shit hits the fan in this country.

But the very reason I love India so much is because I feel so honored there, like nowhere I ever experienced before or at least not up until now. I feel so taken care of there by everybody. It's very nurturing to me. In saying this, I need you to know that I have a found a group of people in the States that honor me like this and I notice I feel so nurtured. And I want to explore it more so between the two I am torn. It's a wonderful predicament to have. My heart is pulled in two very different directions.

I'm not sure what I will do this year at the end of the Tantric Tour. I had planned to kick around the south maybe go to Tamil, maybe go to another ashram in Aurobindo territory. I still want to go back in the spring and go up in the mountains. But some big aching yearning longing inside me has subsided and I feel just as compelled to leave India in December and go to Scottsdale for the holidays. I can hardly believe I am writing this.

I just may go back to People Unlimited to be with the Immortals for the holiday season. I feel so taken care of with them like I can relax, but it's a relaxation from the fear of death rather than just a vacation. Consider it.

Lemonade Cleanse Anyone?

2008-08-16T22:41:00.001-04:00

Halfway Through It

Yeah well I’m on the Master Cleanse so I might as well just keep going to the end. It’s also called the Lemonade Cleanse and lasts ten days plus three days to come off it.

I’m right in the middle as I write, Day 5. I think it’s just as much about mental toughness as about cleansing. It makes a difference to me that I see it through. I am like this in the rest of my life also – duh!

I’m being coached on a daily basis by Krishna. He taught me how to make the mixes of squeezed lemons, grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper. And oh yeah, I have changed the cleanse at the recommendation of Tyr Throne. He suggested adding fish oils and chia protein to avoid any bad side effects of being without those things for too long as a physical body. I am taking a few different types of oils – fish, coconut, sesame and olive. And I have added hemp protein instead of chia because I could not find it in the health food store. Bill Sarill who usually advises me on health and products suggested hemp instead.

I sure hate the sweetness of this cleanse. I am basically a salt person although I get plenty of sugar in the red wine I drink! In my experience of doing cleanses and fasts, I have never been tired at all (sometimes I’ve felt high!), but this one has me yawning at 8pm. That’s so not like me. The only thing I can attribute it to is the maple syrup. Today I cut down by one table spoon and tomorrow I will cut it down by another two perhaps. I’ll have to taste it and see.

I’m sure I’ll be happy at the end. My body is beginning to look great as a result. Looking forward to trying on my clothes next week and seeing how they fit. Been doing yoga and other light weight lifting during this cleanse. I planned to go out to salsa tonight, but I just feel too tired.

Anyway, I want you to know that I recommend this type of thing highly. It feels great to know I can do this and I know I will appreciate the effects on my body when I look in the mirror in a few days.

For more info you can go to http://healthandlight.com/TheMasterCleanse.pdf.

Please don’t get bogged down at the complexity of the directions if you go there. Krishna plans to make another attempt to get the people together who want to do this after the Olympics are over - LOL. He will simplify it for you and coach you. Stay tuned y’all.

The Possibility of Physical Immortality

2008-07-24T00:20:00.009-04:00

I just spent a week in Scottsdale, Arizona with the most incredible people I have ever met! They so inspire me. They fulfill on the connection I've been longing for all my life. I never thought I would meet them. Actually I dreamed it would be a man who gave my life meaning like nothing I had ever experienced! And then when it wasn't a man over and over again, I gave up. Then through Tantra I became my own Beloved and did not need a man; not out of being angry with men, but out of being in love with myself.

Then this April, I met the Immortals - Chuck, Bernie and Jim and they took the conversation higher, to a place beyond the limited thinking of life and death as natural. They took it to life everlasting like Columbus took the world to round! Wow - was I ever stirred up! How could this be? And how excited was I!

Well, everything I've been learning myself and then teaching people has been to retrain my/their neurology. Basically it's been to reframe the way we respond to sensation - have pleasure - let go of pain, shame, guilt. Be in the body and make room for having it all in the very cells. I've learned and taught people to eradicate trauma and make love in the unknown. Be wide open for the unexpected!

And then, as fate would have it, I met the three people who would show me the next level - physical immortality, basically having it all on earth now and forever!

Talk about unexpected!

Through them I have come to see some basic truths:
1) Science can jump us to ages we never dreamed of.
2) Hearing the words/support of other immortals can retrain our neurological responses to be for and in favor of life everlasting.
3) The culture at large is based on the certainty of death and many things we accept as reality are based on this certainty - like war, medicine, depression.
4) The body houses the mind and therefore would have no thoughts about anything, even reincarnation if there was no body so how authentic could reincarnation be?
5) The body regenerates its cells every 90 days and and it's bone structure every 7 years just to name a few miracles of the body. All things considered, we could really do it - live forever!

And on and on.

So, I've declared myself an immortal being in the flesh and I have closed the door to many esoteric beliefs like reincarnation and past lives and future lives, entities, astral travel, akashic records, etc. I want only to live fully now and in every moment. I am open to being around for a very long time - until eternity. I get better as every day comes and goes and I look forward to being here and with you forever.

Why not join me in this amazing eternal adventure? Your comments are welcomed!

For more visit www.peopleunlimitedinc.com.

Simple Intimacy Coaching

2008-07-21T15:03:00.004-04:00

I had an amazing interview on my radio show Tantra Café on www.BBSRadio.com last week with Intimacy coaches Sam Gedal and Monica Day.

They had three particular points that I feel it important to share here:

1) Intimacy is based on communication.
2) Asking for what you want once and not getting it doesn’t mean to not ask again. In other words, ask your partner again if they refuse or if they don’t remember. Don’t let one decline mean it’s forever.
3) Become a researcher, and explorer of your partner’s joy and happiness.

I particularly wanted to write about these three things because they seem so fundamental to me and yet I know there was a time when I did not really understand how to do it or be it. I want everyone to know these simple things.

You can reach them at: Sam Gedal sensuality_coach@yahoo.com and Monica Day at mday@monicaday.com.

Initiation Experience

2008-07-03T00:14:00.006-04:00

Wow, what an amazing experience it was! And major transformation did happen.

This all comes on top of the fact that the place we rented, Shandalee Lake Inn was not ready for us. As a matter of fact it was downright awful. Not only was the place filthy, but the pool was in disrepair and the hot tub was only hooked up and ready to work on our third day of the five day retreat. I am a person who understands when this type of thing happens in India to be specific, but NOT IN NEW YORK STATE when the owner has given his word that the place would be ready. That's just wrong! Thank Goddess for the internet where I can post something about it and people will hear my complaint. What a truly trashy place!

Never-the-less, the course got delivered to a group of enthusiastic participants willing to let go of their attachment to the familiar to "have it all" in the unknown and work their asses off to get to that place. Brilliant work!

We had a ball laughing and crying along the way and mostly growing!

I honor all those who embarked on the journey. I invite all those who really want a shift in life to check it out by doing what it takes to qualify to get to Initiation - Bliss & Ecstasy coming your way soon.

Getting Ready for Initiation - the Mastery of Self Love

2008-06-15T00:04:00.003-04:00

Every year just before the most advanced course I offer, people start freaking out. I think they are scared of the notion of self love! Maybe it's the responsibility of the thing. How could they possibly fall so in love with themselves, have permission to have it all? That's exactly what the course is about.

Frankly I am surprised that people aren't jumping into the course and beating down the doors. They waste so much time purchasing products to enhance their lives, "working on it" in therapy, looking for answers in every direction. This course really does empower people to leave in total love. And yet there is so much resistance. I find it so amazing.

Well I am ready none-the-less. I will take on the new group of participants joining me this coming week in the Catskills. I can hardly wait to have them transform so totally that they are unrecognizable. I know I too will transform again myself.

The butterfly leaves the cacoon once again in new form.

Who's Who in Tantra, NYC

2008-06-01T23:01:00.003-04:00

Last night was a historical event in NYC when Charles Muir, grandfather of Western Tantra met face-to-face with Mantak Chia, Taoist sexual energy cultivator at CoSM, the home studio of Alex and Alison Grey - artists extra-ordinaire. It was a wonderful event hosted by Alan Steinfeld and Sharon Smith.

What I loved was that these two awesome men agreed about almost everything down the line. Most people love to see a fight, a face off and disagreement - competition at its best, but no conflict was to be seen at last evening's event. Their styles were extremely different, but they said the same things: cultivate your sexual energy, MEN - learn how to do it and then do it! People can learn to make love correctly and expand their capacity for pleasure leading to amazing sacred sex and connection.

Charles was often funny, very entertaining. Mantak, more serious and limited by a bit of language barrier shared Taoist practices from the moment he began speaking.

I was certainly glad I went and witnessed it all.

Did I learn a lot? No. Was I glad I went? Yes.

I loved that I saw people I haven't seen in a long time. It was a virtual who's who of Tantra - just fabulous.

In the next few days I'll try to post a photo.

Bliss & Ecstasy Beyond What I Imagined!

2008-05-29T01:06:00.007-04:00

Wow, wow, wow!

I can barely contain myself. I don't want to anyway!

I have spent the past ten years preparing myself for the possibility of Tantric Love. Oh no, I have not consciously done this. I have simply focused on loving myself Tantrically. And, may I say, I have done a damn good job.

How do I know this?

Oh, I know:-) I am happy and full and in love at all times with myself and consequently everyone else.

Recently I have been surprised and gifted by the universe. Really surprised!

I met a REAL Tantric lover. He's not someone I am teaching or even have to teach:-) He's not like most of those guys who say they are Tantra guys either. I would not even think about being with any one of them. They seem slimy and full of shit to me. They seem like they hate women and want to put their fingers into women anyway. They seem like they have never gotten laid in high school. They seem creepy. Eeeeeooowwwwww!

But this man, he's something else! He has been doing the practices for as many as ten years. He knows Cobra Breath. He knows chanting on the body. He knows other subtle practices, some that have no name. AND he consciously practices these things. He doesn't just know them. He does them regularly preparing himself all the time. Preparing himself for the possibility of loving another. Just like me.

So we met. It was a slow start. We finally got together. We danced two or three times before we ever got naked. We sniffed each other out. We tested each other a little. We looked at the possibilities.

When we did get together we performed Tantric Union. And we blew each other away! We went to the moon and back. After a brief period of scaring each other, we continued to go to the moon. Then we visited the rest of the Cosmos and came back smiling.

And we continue to go. We perform known and unknown rituals. We spontaneously initiate each other into secret practices that come to us as we relate. We laugh and smile and laugh and smile and laugh and smile all the time. And we are totally in a state of tumescence. That means we are hot! We are so turned on and hot. We just laugh and stay hot.

All I know is that this feels so good.

This gives hope and faith to me. This gives hope and faith to him. Hopefully it give inspiration to others.

Just when you least expect it anything can happen.

DO THE PRACTICES. DO COBRA BREATH! BREATHE AND SQUEEZE. YOU'RE GONNA BREATHE ANYWAY. MIGHT AS WELL BREATHE AND SQUEEZE.

Life Keeps Getting Better

2008-03-20T00:51:00.005-04:00

The other day while I was driving down the highway in Florida I reflected about my life and about a few lovely men i know who seem to be coming on the market again for yet another round of singleness. I thought, "Wow, I think my old age is gonna be so much fun, so interesting!"

And since I let go of my money concerns with the refunds for the India trip, I can hardly breathe what with the opportunities coming my way.

Life is so full of cosmic jokes! It seems like my real job is to distinguish these jokes and that's all.

I know one thing - I am having a lot of fun.

I pray for more and I am open for it to show up in my life along with more chocolate.

Transformation Again and Again

2008-03-12T04:14:00.009-04:00

Well, I can't sleep so I figure this is as good a time as any to begin blogging again। I last wrote in October '07. Crazy to stay away so long. But I did not want to write. I was going through major transformation and sometimes it just ain't easy.

The India tour in November was very difficult. Some of my best friends and favorite students were with me. Hell, even my 86 year old father was with me. I had great expectations for this one. I tell ya.

And as the sages say over and over again about great expectations, they lead to great disappointment. And so it goes. Anyway, whatever could have gone wrong on a tour did beginning on day one when the wrong size bus showed up, not the one I ordered and paid for.

It was much too small for my plans. I like people to ride through their first part of India with plenty of room and comfort while they get acclimated to this very different culture. Also I like to teach on the bus and have people do everything from sharing intentions to Osho's Dynamic as we cruise along for the first 5 days. In this bus, it was just about impossible.

It did not have enough room for me to teach. It had no mic. It had no shocks. The AC system was poor. People's asses hurt. People breathed lots of pollution. People got disappointed and cranky. Eventually they got mad.

At some point I shut up and shut down. I was horrified watching their faces in such dismay. I wanted them to love India and they were hating it. I mean some amount of all this is to be expected in any third world country. Anything can go wrong and often does. But I so wasn't expecting it on my tour nor were they. After all, I had done this very same trip twice before. I know the ropes so to speak.

Ha ha, joke was on me. And not very funny. I became sullen.

Even though things improved greatly when we left the bus behind and made our way to Varanasi and Khajuraho, we never seemed to get back on the right track.

When everybody left India, I stayed on for a month. I had to get myself grounded and figure out what had taken place and why. I also felt I needed to make some repairs to the relationships after what had happened in my clearing, my space.

While receiving a deep healing massage, I got some insight into the spiritual aspects of what had happened. I saw reasoning behind the craziness. The message I received has to do with the tremendous shifts in consciousness required on the earth at the present time. I saw this group needing to go through a trauma together quickly, not one in which someone dies, but one where there is not much time for drama, just be traumatized and get over it! Prepare for something to come in our lives that we have to get through together at some later point.

Well, when I wrote that to the participants, nobody was having it!

I mean the whole reason I take people to India is to experience SURRENDER like no other place on earth that I know of can supply. That's Tantra is it not? But people had really felt so bad they just couldn't seem to focus on the spiritual aspects of our crazy time together.

So, then I woke up (with the help of one or two of them) to the notion that it was about the economics. They wanted full refunds in many cases. I have never heard of such a thing when it come to tours. As a matter of fact, I don't think any other tour leader in the world would even consider such an idea. But this was different. This was my tour and these were my friends and students. And there was out integrity on my part about what I had promised and what I delivered.

As I struggled with the idea of refunding so much money and the losses, I kept dreaming about how they capture monkeys. They put a banana in a cage that has slats big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in. Once the monkey gets his fist around the banana, it cannot get the hand out. The fist won't fit between the slats only an open hand. Of course the monkey doesn't want to let go so it gets trapped. Oh this recurring dream was driving me nuts!

So I made a decision to make large refunds. And in so doing, I got my hand out of the trap. Boy was it a painful process to let go, but in the end I am glad that I did. Now people can get over it (I hope) and they can return to seeing a spiritual lesson if they choose.

I certainly got one. Somehow abundance is now pouring into my life like never before. It's in the form of students, contracts, radio interviews, potential lovers, assistants, people signing up for courses and money.

Plus, something shifted with my father while there. He came back a much more loving and kind soul. It's like he had a frontal lobotomy. He's the only one who really loved the tour. I can't explain it. He dropped some mean thing that seemed a part of his personality and shifted into nice. Go figure. This was worth it all!

That fits into the abundance thing as well. It's what I always wanted from him - kindness, cooperation, affection more than just mouthing empty words. And so I am receiving that too.

Lately when friends have told me about how difficult it is to be with their aging parents, I've laughed and jokingly suggested they send their parents to India with me!

What transformation!

Dreams Coming True

2007-10-30T01:47:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was the New York New Life Expo. I have participated in this event many times before, but this time was most noteworthy. The panel I participated on about Sex and Sensuality was fantastic. Such a great panel of experts (Nan Wise, Anton Diaz, Barbara Carrelles, Racheli Cherwitz and Michael Jascz) and so much fun. I appeared two other times at the show and met hundreds of people along the way.

As soon as I arrived I had the opportunity to transform myself when I discovered that my regular table had been sold to someone else. I got really hot for a few minutes and then let it go. I figured if I cannot turn on a dime, who can? After a short while it did not seem to matter at all. People found me and I saw that it made no difference. Being able to shift out of my expectations and into what is so, was so valuable.

Yesterday I led a Bliss course in NYC that was the greatest ever in my opinion. There were 28 participants coming from many different places. Some came from the New Life Expo. Some came from my collaboration with teeni dakini. Others came from One Taste and www.MySpace.com. Some came from Sexy Spirits. How cool is that? Collaborating has proved to be extremely beneficial for them and me. I'm convinced that working together and supporting each other, we can all win.

A note: Since 9/11 I have often felt it difficult to get New Yorkers to commit to workshops in advance. I've been teaching Tantra in NYC since 1999 and I noticed a marked difference in advance registrations after the tragic WTC events of 2001. So yesterday's turnout was an amazing treat especially since I did not know how many would actually turn up!

And maybe I have been reluctant to state it as such, but I really believe that being successful in NYC means the world! You remember that line from the song New York, New York - "If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere...it's up to you New York, New York. For me, it is a dream come true!

How is Butterfly Tantra Distinct from other Tantra Teachings

2007-10-06T07:17:00.000-04:00

People always ask the question how is Butterfly Tantra distinct from other teachings and forms of Tantra. The answer is simply the difference between teachers. Teachers differ greatly in their philosophies, their methods, what they focus on and their lifestyles.

I will state for the record that I believe Tantra is much, much bigger than sacred sex. I believe that getting stuck in G-spot stimulation is an addiction like any other addiction. I personally do not care if you study Tantra and never have a partner with whom to have sex. I care that you fuel your body continually with sexual energy, the vital life force, and keep yourself circulating that energy to maintain your aliveness.

I care that you become healthy, stay healthy and walk the talk meaning do the practices. I care that you live within your own integrity. I care that you speak your truth. I care that you clear your emotions. I care that you feel orgasmic on the inside and that it reflects outward through your entire being. I care that life becomes a dance with the unknown so that every moment is fresh and new. When and if you do make love, I care that you make love in the unknown.

More on this later. I welcome your comments.

Integrity = Being Your Word + Inner Guidance

2007-09-13T21:32:00.000-04:00

Coming from a crazy family where people's minds changed like the weather, I adopted the policy of being true to my word no matter what. Even if the time came and I didn't feel like doing whatever I had agreed to, I kept my word and showed. I always wanted people to feel like they could count on me. I did not know I had huge underlying safety issues so I sought to enable people to feel safe with me. I figured, if they could count on me (my word), I could count on them. That should have equaled safe. Right?
Wrong!

Then I sought out learning experiences inside of paradigms where keeping your word equals integrity. For me, I felt I could finally feel secure knowing that I could trust what people said. After all, if I gave my word, I'd keep it. So, they must be the same. What was I thinking? People gave their word and made promises all the time. And they broke their word.

Things happened. What, I don't know. I never asked. I was not concerned with their excuses for not keeping their word. I was concerned with the fact that their word had been broken. I found myself making them wrong. I was even sneakier than that. I devalued them and still loved them, but less. I justified this righteous behavior of mine and had no room for their growth and development gap.

So were they safe with me? In fact, no. Did I feel safe with them? No.

Then I began studying Tantra. This Eastern philosophy encourages you to embrace it all, the right and the wrong, the light and the dark. I learned to embrace other's darkness (breaking of word) and my darkness (making them wrong). When this embrace empowered me to come out of the darkness, all of a sudden, I developed a lot of room for it all. I stopped taking it personally when a word was broken. I stopped being attached to outcomes. I became more appreciative of the process of transformation and just what it takes for people to keep their word, other people.

Inside of Tantra, I also became familiar with a powerful process called Latihan.

Latihan is a deep meditation where you go inside and then move following inner guidance. Some people call this authentic movement. During one Latihan session, I met my life's purpose staring me right in the eye. I began to listen to my inner voice rather than being distracted by what was "right" or "wrong" with the outer world.

I have been using this practice for 8 years. It has altered my life and altered my relationship to integrity and word. Now I follow inner guidance inside of my life's purpose when I commit to do something. Usually by the time the event comes about, I still want to do it. I am not merely toughing it out by keeping my word to anything and everything. I am keeping my word to something I have clearly chosen out of my deep commitment to what I am committed to in life. I have given up needing to have people count on me above all else and trying to make them feel safe. I have stopped making them wrong and myself right if things change. I focus on myself, my intentions and the messages I get from within. It is easy to keep my word and be with people exactly where they are. There is no more resentment.

At the end of the day, my word is in alignment with my life's purpose. And when I give it, it is a measure of the commitments that guide my life. Now it really does add up to my integrity, my truth. The bonus is that I'm experiencing many more people these days keeping their word. Something major has shifted in my life.

How to do Latihan:
You stand in a room with eyes closed. Playing on the stereo is ethereal music no lyrics.

The practice starts out by you picturing yourself standing at the edge of a cliff. You are strapped into a harness that is attached to a zip line. The zip line is stretched across a void. In other words, in your mind's eye, if you look down, you see only darkness, nothing - the void. In the meditation, you let go of your foothold and swing out over the void. You hang there attached to the zip line.

Then you reach up and push a red button that unfastens the clasp holding you connected to the zip line. Essentially, you let go and fall into the unknown.

Once you feel yourself falling, you begin to move only when movement moves you. This is not about prescribed movements, postures, dance steps or even asanas. It is simply to notice the impulse to move and then feel your way into the next movement.

Practice this for 10 - 15 minutes at first. Then move to a half hour.
Gradually build up to an hour at least once a week.

Copyright Butterfly Workshops, Inc. 2005

One of my teachers said...

2007-08-29T12:17:00.000-04:00

"In the west there are clean streets - dirty minds
In the east there are dirty streets - clean minds."

Another teacher of mine said...

"India is in your face and if you resist, the mass will only come closer up, closer in. If you just flow with it, it will flow around you. Everything in India is a test for your ego and ego attachment to the way you think things are supposed to be."

Osho said, "India is not a country but a mystery. A mystery of a rising lotus as chaste as the morning dew, delicate and sublime. India is the immanent and the transcendental manifested simultaneously leaving deep feelings of wonder and amazement, just as those experienced by a child. So distant and high as the Himalayas and as close and as near as our breath, ethereal like the rainbow and yet so real and alive."

This is why I prefer India.

Please consider.

New Heights

2007-08-12T23:11:00.000-04:00

South Florida in July.....hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Who would ever go there then? Me.

What a kick I had at the Health Fair in Daytona Beach. Such wonderful people live in the area. There seems to be much interest in Tantra there.

A Sunday Bliss class in West Palm was filled with new students and received powerfully.

And then working with a company committed to transformation was an enormous thrill in the West Pam Beach area. Michele and I had a ball. There will be more work to follow with this company and so great it will be.

All I can say is I live a divine life. It's never boring, always exciting and growing into new and wonderful areas of interest.

Soon there will be more corporate clients and Bliss courses filled to capacity. It's very promising indeed.

Paul Lowe - Another Amazing Gift!

2007-07-15T16:38:00.000-04:00

On Friday, while still basking in the energy of Amma, I was invited by Alan Steinfeld of New Realities TV to a small gathering at a hotel in Times Square to meet and hang out with Paul Lowe. And all I can say is "Thank you for yet another great gift!"

We were seven in all including Paul. He sat with his back to the Times Square skyline, flashing lights, advertisements larger than life. He spoke quietly and powerfully to each of us about life, love, sex, orgasm, waking up to who we are. We asked questions of him and sometimes we didn't, he just had a 'hit' on one of us.

On his website, he is described as "Paul Lowe is an original. His unique view of the world and its future encourages us beyond what we normally think of as possible or impossible. From a perspective rooted in his own diverse experience, he addresses our everyday issues – relationships, money, health, sexuality, parenting, career, communication – with wisdom, compassion and, perhaps most importantly, humour. An encounter with Paul is always provocative, meaningful and entertaining. And for many people, it’s a life-changing experience."

And so it is.

Again the experience of compassion came into my pores. This time it was from a man, shall I say "the Father?" If Amma represents the Mother to me and helped to shift the relationship of me to my mother (who has been deceased since 1995 BTW), then I must say that Paul Lowe did the same thing for me in relationship to me and my father (who you may have read about in previous blogs).

How is this possible in just two days to have such major shifts, to call in such powerful medicine? I don't really know how to explain the phenomenon except to use that phrase again, the one teeni dakini gave me, "in the perfect moment." So for me, the planets must have aligned because I was ready, because I was intending, because I caused myself to be available with not much to do for 2-3 days which has rarely happened in my current life.

What did he say that was so amazing?

Well, for starters, I hadn't said a word and he looked at me and said, "You are having challenges with your father. You take care of him and he is perverse. He resists you, yeah?" Let it go and see what happens. He will come towards you and let go of his resistance.

Then he told me that I had taken 'control' to a new level, that I am controlled because of things that happened to me in my past. He said that I could give that up now and take whatever bumps may come. There is nothing more that I have to guard myself from. Nothing matters, NOTHING!

Finally when I was leaving the gathering, he hugged me and said, "Just get softer and softer. Get soft in every moment. Get more and more vulnerable and watch how you get taken care of like and innocent wallaby." I said, "Okay, I will." Then he added, "We can never be grateful enough for our parents' act of getting us here, giving us life."

Now there are many other things he said over the course of the evening. Some of what he said to the others I have taken on as well like rather than ending a sentence or paragraph with a down stroke such as "I really don't like it there!" which he claims brings down our energetic mass, say, "I notice it's not my preference in a neutral tone." Keep the tonal quality of the words even or on an upbeat.

And I'm back on Fire Island now with my father. My life has shifted enormously. I am aware of how I think and speak about him. I am creating a new reality for us. I will move out and let it all go and I imagine he will come more towards me then. I know have gotten a big piece handled about his life and his continued quality of life and I can move on. And we can both be happy and share love.

Thank you, Paul.

For more information visit www.paullowe.org.

Hugging Amma - What a Gift!

2007-07-15T16:27:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I was supposed to go to DC. There were some things in storage that I needed to get a hold of. But as fate would have it, when I called the storage place in Rockville, MD, I was told that presently the place is too full of storage things and that they could not afford me the opportunity to have them bring down my boxes so I could go access them and sort through things. So I did not go.

I stayed in Manhattan figuring I'd return to Fire Island the next morning. But when I awoke on Thursday morning, I had the thought, let me see what's going on in the City today? Why go back when I'd really rather be here? So what if I did not bring extra clothes with me? Just see what's up!

I called around and discovered that Amma, the "Hugging Saint" was in NYC and decided to go with Om. Previous to this whenever Amma was visiting in a certain city that I was in, I was usually too busy to go to see her. In the interim I have carried her picture around with me and have become increasingly interested in her method of transmission - hugging. I've picked up books by her and saw a special on TV hoping I'd get to see her some day.

It was wonderful to finally experience her and receive one of her hugs. The Manhattan Center was bustling with people and a Indian band was playing devotional music. People were from all walks of life and every ethnic group. All had tokens with numbers, numbers that informed when their time would come to get in line for a hug.

My number was S2 meaning I would wait for two to three hours (a short time according to Ammaphiles). While waiting Om and I sat close to the stage so we could witness her hugging process with other pilgrims. It was amazing to watch. This woman, Mother of Compassion, embodiment of Kali-Ma herself, sits for 15 hours a day and hugs people one by one as they approach her guided gently by the Amma's loyal assistants.

I felt like crying a lot of the time as I watched. Much of the time I was silent. Sometimes I talked to Om or others there who I recognized. At first glance, it appeared to be a gathering of New York's spiritual who's who.

But it was much more than that. There was no pretense. People wore saris, robes, jeans, T-shirts everything imaginable. People talked and shopped in the auditorium while waiting to be called. Some sat in lotus position and appeared to be meditating, but there was no particular way they had to be. It was somewhat chaotic - organized from the feminine aspect. I really liked that about it.

Finally my number came up and I anxiously cued up to get my Amma 'fix'. As I approached I was asked if I was "alone" and what language I spoke. I answered "I am alone in a manner of speaking," and that my language is English. A couple of assistants laughed. Then I was told to wipe my face and forehead with a tissue and take out my hair clip because Amma might hurt herself when she went to hug me possibly getting caught on the clip. During the final approach towards her, it was necessary to crawl very closely behind others in line. When my turn finally came, she grabbed me to her and pressed me hard into her, held me strong and whispered all the while into my ear. I told myself to surrender to her, the Mother, and so I did.

I noticed I had no comprehension of a word she said. I doubt that it was English and what's more I don't care. She let go abruptly, smiled and handed me a chocolate kiss and a flower petal. I looked into her eyes and saw a person deep in trance, yet totally present. I was ushered away to make room for the next in line and I willingly went off to the side, kneeled down and touched my head to the floor to honor her.

Now let's look at this more closely. What actually happened? I was hugged tightly by a powerful woman who claims to be an incarnation of Kali, my patron saint. Rather than exhibit the "cut off your head" rendition of my favorite goddess, Amma personifies her enormous compassion. She sits for hours and hugs people no matter who or what they are. The only question she asks is what language. It's free. It goes on for three days culminating in an all night Kali ritual that lasts until the next morning. WOW!

What did I come away with? Something huge. I got held by 'The Mother'. Somehow it made everything right between me and my mother. It made up for all the times my mother was unable to hold me, comfort me, reassure me that everything would be alright.

This surrogate mother is offering powerful female healing energy, Shakti energy that is very much needed on the planet at this time. The transmission of healing energy comes in the form of hugs. She never spoke at a podium, rather she whispered in my and others ears. Nobody even spoke to her. She just pressed people to her one after the other after the other. The transmission is mother energy something everybody needs, something the earth needs, something that has been missing.

Profound experience. I can say that it has changed me. I will hug more. I will make it a practice at the beginning and end of every workshop and every meeting with people. I will hug in a very conscious way and with intention to offer mother energy. I will hold the person in my arms differently than I have ever hugged anyone before.

If you would like to know when Amma is coming to a city near you or more about her humanitarian efforts around the world go to www.Amma.org.

Perfect Moment

2007-07-15T15:50:00.000-04:00

I started my new Ongoing Sex & Heart Series in NYC on Wednesday and I was quite pleased to see some brand new faces and even people I had met at the New Life Expo two and three years ago who finally showed up to class despite a horrendous thunder storm. I do not mean to imply that I don't like seeing familiar faces in my classes. That to me is the greatest proof of the value of the work when people return for a fresh look and continue to get pressed to new edges. Yet, when the new ones showed up on the recommendation of friends and relatives or after meeting me, but not showing up at class for so long, I really had to say I was excited. It showed me once again not to give up on people. They arrive in the perfect moment and it's not personal if they take their time. Eventually they make it if it's calling them.

And one more thing about this class. The owner of the new location Light House Yoga, Kami Fereidooni showed up in attendance. Now this is a new turn of events. Yes, I am smiling! In the past I have offered the studio owners and managers in the various cities where I teach the option to participate in my classes. While they smiled in my face and paid lip service to me and said nice things about their understanding of Tantra, they did not take me up on the invitation. I can't help but feel if they had come to class a few times, they would have benefited and our relations would have gone smoother. After all, how could they promote a course the likes of which they really had no idea? Yet when it came to splitting the proceeds, they wanted their share to be 50% even if they produced only one attendee from their databases. This never seemed quite fair to me and often I simply chose to stop working at those spaces rather than fight for what I deemed fair. And as you probably already guessed sometimes I did fight. No surprise there.

So when this man showed up for class on Wednesday, not only was I not expecting him, I was tickled and happy to have a studio owner wanting to get to know my work so he can properly promote it. I like working in partnership and this is a great start. Thank you, Kami. I am honored.

For more info go to www.lighthouseyoga.net

It's all good!

2007-07-06T22:22:00.000-04:00

I am back in the States and I am whole and fine. As a matter of fact it's even better than that!

England was so good for me. Who would have thought? England - duh! Really it was. The benefits just keep growing exponentially. In am thrilled.

Here are a few of the outcomes from this last trip:

My father and I are at a truce. So far it has lasted five days. Very good.
I have been invited back for a December Tantra Festival in Dartmouth to present alongside the UK's leading Tantra teachers (Michele Wortman will accompany me and do her magical Moola- Ajna atunement).
I came across a funny article written about our documentary in a UK online magazine. Click this link to go there http://www.channel4.com/4talent/feature.jsp?id=2026
I have finally been approved to lead a series of "Active Meditations" to the stuffy Fire Island crowd (I know it's hard to believe that people here are stuffy, but when you make tons of money I guess you get more conservative - I don't know; I am just happy to finally be able to offer some of what I do here where I live. It's a form of giving back.)
My book Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy (as well as my CD; Shamanic Release & Latihan and my DVD: Bliss Beginner's Tantra) will be carried at Mysteries, London's most exclusive store for New Age and Holistic information located in Covent Garden.

What can I say? I am happy. I am getting rest from the crazy pace I have kept since January 5th and I am feeling more prosperous and prolific than ever. Watch out world!

And I can hardly wait to go back to India. Want to come? Contact me right away.

Thoughts On My Father - Not Pretty

2007-06-26T04:00:00.000-04:00

I have just awakened in England with the anxiety of returning to the States and the thought that I have to go home to deal with the absolute domination of this shit head man over me. Even if he has early dimentia, he is still the arrogant prick that he has always been and more so now. He keeps making a mess of things after I bail him out over and over again. I see no end in sight.

Did I tell you that the man I met in India, the one who was going to come for the month of July and use biofeedback to restore my father will not be coming? He says he fell in love and ran off to Canada and then is going back to India. He told me a week ago after I planned July around him for the last six months. Good luck in relationship, Buddy. Breaking word in one place has huge ramifications in other places or so I'm told.

Have I shared that the loan I have applied for to help my father hasn’t gone through because it is just so difficult to prove that there is a real address on Fire Island and to ascertain the value of such a property once it is proven that there really is a house since there is no mail delivery and very few people sell so there are no comps.

I see there is no way to curb my father's arrogance. I must take the compassion I feel for him and the energy generated towards him and use it on myself. My life makes a difference in the world. His life make a sham of my life. I am setting a boundary with him. He feels to me like a vampire. Maybe this is how my mother felt in the end, that he was sucking the life out of her. Interesting thought.

The idea of going back there to him tomorrow is making me sick as I write this. When it comes down to it in the common sense, he is just a man. And as I see it, he is the original man who shit on me and he is the same man who keeps shitting on me. I almost don’t give a damn if he lives or dies anymore. I am pulling in the platter on which I catch the shit. I am walking away and he can continue to make a mess of things until I get him situated in assisted living. Then I can insure his life from as far away as possible.

Maybe my sister was right. Maybe biofeedback would not have helped our father in the long run anyway. We will not know now because I will not spend the time it would take to research and find out. I have spent all the time I am going to spend trying to help my father who does not want my help.

What I know is that I want my life back, all of it. My intention is set.

Sex & Happiness Launched in London!

2007-06-20T09:23:00.000-04:00

Just want you all to know that there was a remarkable launch of Sex & Happiness yesterday as part of an all day Tantralink Summer Event here in London.

The event began at 10am. After a brief introduction with one or two ground rules for conduct, I led the morning with Find the Empty Space, Mirror Dance, Dance Back-to-Back followed by Osho's Gibberish, Silence and Latihan. Then I led London's first Bodyhan. After the Bodyhan, to clear everyone's energy we did Egyptian Balancing Breath and Egyptian Cleansing Breath.

After a lunch break, we came back to do some yummy massage modules led by various other participants and we all got very relaxed just before I was to offer excerpts from my book Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy .

I swear, my hair was messed up and my lipstick askew, but there I was - called into the spotlight.

The fabulous book signing was a highlight in this all day event. I read excerpts to a wonderful audience of 36 people. What a delight to be so well received. There were questions and an opportunity for me to give answers and then we had champagne. I signed a bunch of books and posed for photos with many of the individuals in attendance.

I felt so honored and so author-like.

It was great.

After the dinner break we all came back to a trance dance where there was a band improvising to the movements of the group (much like Group Motion in Philly). I danced my ass off and went home totally full and also exhausted from one of the best days of my life.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge Kavida Rei of Tantralink, London and her partner Andrew for their amazing production of the Summer Event and their love and support of me. Also I want to acknowledge Kirsty Allison of Slack Alice Films (part of our film crew from the India tour) for capturing the event on video. What a blessing.

This fall – let's do amazing book launch events in New York, DC, Philly and somewhere in South Florida – oh yeah sorry San Francisco, too! Hell why stop there? New Delhi will come next.

Love to all from London,
Laurie

Beyond Tantra

2007-06-20T09:16:00.000-04:00

The weekend before I left for London, I went to a course in New York called the Opening Course. I was urged by one of my students to take this course to see for myself how it applies to the Butterfly work.

Well, wow another peak experience!

I participated in a wonderful daylong with Nicole Daedone of One Taste. What a great revolutionary woman! Basically she has come up with a new look at a technology originally started at More University. She has made it relevant to the new millennium and brought it into a more socially acceptable paradigm in my opinion.

She calls the basis of what she offers OM meditation. OM stands for Orgasm Meditation. In this technology women receive 15 minutes of clitoral stroking three times per day by a stroker (doesn't have to be the same person each time). Her belief is that if women are filled up with sexual energy, it will make all the difference in the world. So she has provided a way where women can get filled up in a safe and structured way. Now of course, I am oversimplifying for the purposes of whetting your appetite, but I wanted to introduce the concept to you.

I plan to participate in the New York OMing sessions as often as I can and I will do research and development so as to modify any of this that needs to be modified for the greater good. Please note that I plan to sponsor Nicole in Philly, DC and West Palm to deliver this info to all who could use a boost in their Tantric practices. I want people all to get as much from this parallel body of knowledge as possible.

Combined with Butterfly and Osho Emotional Release techniques, this could take everything to
a whole new level.

I will keep you posted on my progress and I will certainly let you know when Butterfly Workshops will make the Opening Course available in places other than SF and NY. Anyone can be a stroker by the way.

Much love,
Laurie

P.S. Did I say how clean this thing was? What a pleasure to find no slime anywhere. Not a predator in the room. Now that's something.

Initiation 2007

2007-06-14T11:57:00.000-04:00

Well, after that last blog about the weekend spent with Charles Muir and my students Shiva O and Shiva H, so much else has happened. I must admit I was changed forever based on that powerful experience.

Recently I was in Northern California facilitating my most advanced course, Initiation – The Mastery of Self-Love. That in itself was an amazing experience. There were ten participants and three staff (including me).

The course is basically about having it all and based on four distinctions: Resistance/Satisfaction, Not Safe/Safe, No Permission/Permission and Negative Intention/Intention.

People took amazing ground in their pursuit of self-love. Each and everyone came away totally shifted into a new personal paradigm for their lives.

I think the important thing here is for me to say how it has impacted me. You can find actual testimonials on my website from people who have been in the course, but for each and everyone following my latest progress, it is important that I share for myself.

I rediscovered that introducing people to a formula for producing self-love through rigorous exercises and body work, plus taking them another step of the way towards sexual freedom releasing past shame, guilt, and societal pressure most assuredly influenced the outcomes of their intended intentions - another amazing experiment in people attaining personal power and self-definition. They now see what powerful creators they are like never before.

First of all, I made the course more juicy than ever before. While I have always had optional naked swimming in this course (and for some this has been the biggest freedom anyone could experience in life), I built in additional things this time. Since Shiva O was in attendance we offered optional OM (orgasmic meditation) sessions as part of our spa which involves clitoral stimulation for 15 minutes by a man who desires nothing in return, but simply to be in the meditation. The men in the course learned about giving to a woman with no other agenda. The women learned to just receive with no reciprocity expected, required, implied, or demanded. What freedom to experience pleasure authentically what a challenge for some. Of course it helped everyone to know that I had gone first. I like myself as a scientific laboratoryJ

With the names withheld to protect their identities, here’s what people said at the end of the course when asked, “What did you bring back from Initiation 2007?”

A clean slate. Opening a fortune cookie, seeing no fortune there; realizing that I have the freedom to make my own fortune.
A new life and vulnerability that deserves care from me.
Crying, and embracing the crying.
Emptiness. Ground zero. A new paradigm for interacting powerfully with men. An opportunity and new paradigm for intimacy with myself.
A roller coaster of expansion/contraction, like a spring going in and out.
New physical sensations, new interactions with my daughter.
Realizing that the Goddess provides in abundance - all I have to do is ask and receive.
New power and appreciation for emotional release.
New paradigm for functioning in the world, while also taking care of myself.
Courage to move into the unknown.
Acceptance of myself and my own humanity.
Calm, secure, powerful awareness of myself and my interactions with others.
I am safe. I have boundaries that I can embrace and enforce.
Ability to move from one space to the next big enough to do it with all of myself.
A new aspect of my power to speak my truth, make peace with others, and walk away loving myself and them better for it.
I found my higher place.

Now doesn’t all of this make you want to be there the next time? Hope so. When I re-read it, I am blown away. I have witnessed that in only seven days people dumped their lifetime shit and came into their power and self-love. I LOVE MY JOB!

Wow What a Weekend! Tantric Healing

2007-05-10T16:38:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I attended Charles Muir's Beginner Tantra course. This was different for me because I never before pictured myself in Charles' course. I had heard stories about him sleeping with students and all sorts of other gossip in the Tantra world so I was just never gonna be a participant in his work.

Then, when Charles and Leah, his fiancee scheduled a course in New York City, I was invited by two people I love and respect totally Dr. Judy Kuriansky and teeni dakini. How could I refuse? The thing that really turned me around though was when I interviewed Charles on my internet radio show Tantra Cafe. What a great show we did and I was so moved by his sharing on the show. I decided to press the red button and go for it.

Well, the course was a blast and very juicy - very red Tantra!

I laughed and cried in some of the sharing and processes (although there were not too many processes). Charles' style is more lecture than I have experienced in Tantra before, yet very entertaining and very informative. I learned little nuances about things that greatly increased my knowledge of Tantra. And he is certainly a master of Tantra and Hatha yoga. At 69 years of age, he is as limber as a youngster. Good show!

Now as to how my life transformed, whoa baby! The homework for the second evening for the couples and singles in the class is to have the men (Shivas) perform shamanic yoni healing on a female partner (Shakti). I already knew this going into the course and I was determined to have a really positive experience for myself. Rather than select a partner from the single men available in the course, I invited one of my Shiva students to attend the course with me and told him of the homework asking him if he was up to doing this process with me. He said YES, he would be honored. I wanted to feel that I was doing this intimate assignment with a man who I could trust and feel safe with as well as one who had been trained by me (and teeni).

As it turns out, another of my Shiva students decided to attend at the last moment and joined us in the course. He is also someone I have a very close relationship with teacher-student and friendship.

When it came time to choose the Shiva to accompany me to my space in NYC, I chose them both believing that the two of them would provide the exact amount of healing I desired and needed. I am so glad I did this and so were they. It took the nervousness and performance anxiety off the assignment for each of them to have the other available. They know I have big energy and now they could relax into the flow of the evening.

So we went to my place. We stopped for some food and wine. We shared our desires for the process, our fears and our intentions. We were all a bit nervous, but we got through it. Each of us showered and then we created a temple in the bedroom.

I got on the bed and they gave me a sensual massage. Then I said it would be okay to start the process. Shaman H asked me if I was willing to forgive and forget anyone and anything that had violated me in my life including me. I answered affirmatively. He then warmed his hands and put them on my heart. Shaman O stroked my genitals and warmed me up in the 2nd Chakra getting my juices flowing while I sang "Light My Fire" by the Doors. Then he inserted his forefinger into my yoni (vagina) and found my sacred spot. With just a little bit of jiggling around or pressing (I have no idea which), I instantly got in touch with the memory of the experience of having been burned at the stake. I cried and yelled a lot. Shaman H held me and said, "It wasn't your fault. They didn't get who you were. Let it go." That was the perfect thing to say.

Once I was done with this process, we began again next round. With a little more jiggling of the sacred spot, I became aware of an early memory of my father that I thought I had dealt with and completed years ago in the EST training. Some of you will laugh while reading this if you were around Landmark Education when I used to use this as one of my shares while leading introductions. When I was three and a half years old my mother was just back from the hospital taking care of my new infant sister in another room. My father was in charge of and feeding me porrage and orange juice in my highchair. I was a very demanding little girl (no surprise here) and I wanted him to strain the pulp out of the juice. I started crying and stamping saying to him, "Mommy would do it for me. I don't like orange juice with pulp." The scene ended with my father throwing the glass of orange juice over my head and walking out the door saying, "I'm done. I won't do this again."

So deep inside me was living the memory of this incident. From this I got the biggest 'aha' as I cried and released it. Here's the breakthrough: I have been very straight in most all situations in my life with speaking my truth, what I want and don't want when it comes to friends and business, but with the men in my life, I have not been quite as honest - afraid to say what I really want, what I really really want because unbeknownst to me, I held deep in myself the expectation that the men would throw something over my head and walk out the door.

WOW WOW WOW!

When that flew out of me, these two Shiva Shamans held me and stroked my body as I cried and cried. I said, "I had no idea that was still inside me! I am so greatful that it came out and I can be done with it. Thank you so much Shivas."

They held me and said, "We are so honored to be in this process with you. We love you so much. We want to give back. You are our teacher. You deserve love and deserve this healing."

Oh, I cried and let it all in and out.

Then we started our next round. We switched positions. Shiva O exchanged places with Shiva H. Shiva O stationed himself at my head while Shiva H went to my loins because I asked him to. He reached inside me and began to stroke and grope. All of a sudden he touched on a space that had me go wild. I screamed and cried and shifted energy from side to side until I caught his attention. I must have screamed into a pillow well beyond the normal yelling during orgasm. I really had to let go. I had an amazing series of orgasms and releases under his skilled fingers. I am only aware of screaming into a pillow so that the neighbors would not hear. I screamed my guts out beyond the beyond.

I went into class the next day and shared the intimate details. I am grateful. I really am. I moved beyond my limits and into a new space. I feel free expanded and open beyond anything I have ever known.

Thank you Shivas.
Thank you Charles & Leah.
Thank you teeni and Judy.
Thank you all for going there.

Love & Gratitude,
Laurie

Emotional Release with Shamanic Release & Latihan CD

2007-04-25T16:43:00.000-04:00

When I arrived in West Palm Beach, I was very pent up from a lot of pressure over the last four months and not knowing whether the books would arrive in time for the trade show. In addition, the DVD of the Bliss course I was planning to have in my hands had some technical difficulty in being re-produced. I've only been waiting for that for three years!

So, I walked into Randall's home and said, "I need to do emotional release right now. Care to join me?" He responded, "I know a great CD we can do it with." It did not dawn on me that he was going to put in my CD - Shamanic Release & Latihan by Laurie Handlers . Duh!

I laid down and the CD began. I figured, "I don't need this. I just put on any music lay down, hit the floor and clear in 20 minutes. Maybe he needs this direction." Ha ha on me.

But then I listened to the instructions and followed my voice to the letter. What an expereince! See I listened to the recording when I made it in the studio. And I often listen to it when I visit my MySpace profile. But the truth is that I had never done the process to it.

What was I thinking?

It's so great. I had the thought, "Damn this is good. And it's me! Wow!"

Anyway, it was an amazing experience for me to be facilitated by me. I don't know how to describe it, but it got the job done and then some. I had the release of the decade as far as I am concerned. I highly recommend it. Ha ha ha. You knew I would.

But if you are holding out on yourself about doing Emotional Release, why? What are you waiting for? If you cannot do it by yourself, then by all means get the CD. It will change the planet.

One of my students wrote and said this to me about my sharing of this experience: "This seems to me like a great example of making love to yourself. You let the creative powerful Get It Out There, Get It Up, Get It Now God in you make love to the Receptive, Open-hearted, Ever-Waiting Goddess. The Yin + the Yang of you = the release of the decade."

Yeah Baby, that's what I'm talking about!

Love & Gratitude,
L

When I arrived in WPB, I was very pent up from a lot of pressure over

My Book: Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy is out!

2007-04-25T16:32:00.000-04:00

I am in West Palm Beach - just did two trade shows over the last two weekends and I'm about to do a Bliss course here this Saturday (in case you know anyone who would like to do it). This past weekend my book finally arrived from my publishers in India. I got 50 advance copies and the others are on the way to New York. Should be arriving first week of May. Yee ha!!!

My point is that Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy is here in my hand! I am so happy about it I cannot tell you. My life long dream to write a book is fulfilled now as I write.

This weekend at the WPB Body, Mind, Spirit Expo I felt people looked at me differently when they saw the book and then they saw me. Someone told me this would happen, but I did not know how it would feel and it felt slightly different. Books make people instant experts. I could feel it. I am no longer simply a Tantra teacher. I am now an expert. It feels tangible. Of course Michele, my colleague, made it particularly clear to people who visited the booth that this
was THE book and then this was me standing right here where they could touch me - THE author.

I learned a lot in the process both about writing, about trusting, about working with others who say one thing and have a completely different understanding of what needs to be done and then keeping their word or not. In the end of each segment along the way, I had to let go, surrender totally.

I know what to do differently for the next printing and with the next book and I'm sure I'll still learn some things when all is said and done. And surrender is the main lesson.

Isn't that just the cosmic joke over and over again? Surrender is the main lesson. Breathe and squeeze. Oooo and Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

In the advance order I think I mentioned there were fifty books. They are gone now:-) I sold a lot of them at the show and the rest are in the mail going to those people who advance ordered the book over the last year. What a feeling of accomplishment.

FYI you can order the book online at my website www.butterflyworkshops.com. You have the choice of getting the actual book for $19.99 plus S & H or ordering it as an eBook for $14.99.
Hopefully the two versions will serve everyone's tastes. And I ask you to let others know that they can get a hold of it too.

I plan to have a third option which is a combination of the book and the Shamanic Release & Latihan CD as a package for $35 plus S & H as well. They go hand in hand. In the book I talk a lot about Emotional Release and the CD is the tool I created to help you do it.

I recently had the expereince of doing emotional release to my own CD and it was amazing so I will write about it in the next post.

All I can say is that I am thrilled beyond words and looking forward to your feedback about the book.

If you have leads for book signing places and independent bookstores please feel free to follow up with me about that now. I am ready to take this book to Oprah and to the world.

With so much love & gratitude,
L

So Tired

2007-04-19T00:49:00.000-04:00

Wow, I am really running full tilt boogie.

I am so tired and a bit frazzled, I'm finding it hard to remember things and I noticed yesterday and today I am losing my temper. Luckily tomorrow I will do an emotional release session and I'm sure I'll feel better.

I would really feel better too if people would get responsible for themselves. I notice I send out email after email about calls and events, etc. Yet people still call me for directions or phone numbers at the last minute. Or, even more annoying to me is when people don't even bother to call me back when I have called and left a message for them. How rude. You'd think I have nothing better to do than give directions hundreds of times over and over or call people again and again. I am in complete alignment with superior customer service, but this is beyond the call of duty.

If you are reading this, please grow up! Please be responsible for your own information, for where you have to be and when, and may I add - get there on time. Please have the courtesy to return calls when you get a message. What's up with all this?

Anyway, it is wearing me down. I notice I don't have the energy to do as much hand-holding anymore.

My book is due tomorrow! At last my book will be available! Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy will hit the streets! I hope it will cause a huge shift in the way I feel I must behave in the world. I hope people who don't want to return calls or get themselves to a course, but want everything over the phone will simply buy the book and get the best I can offer so I can get some rest. I feel like a new mother who took a long time to birth this thing and now I must rest.

Hopefully, after emotional release tomorrow this whole attitude will shift. I still think I'll need rest though.

Long Time No Blog

2007-04-11T12:05:00.000-04:00

Wow, what a ride! When I arrived back in New York, I hit the ground flying meaning I never hit the ground. I've been flying ever since India full speed ahead.

Be careful what you ask for because you just may get it all at once! All the dreams I had of a lifetime started to come into being at the same time. While this is the universe showing abundance to me, it all came in a way I wasn't expecting. All at once.

In the last three months, I have I managed the final edits of my first book Sex & Happiness: The Tanric Laws of Intimacy (soon to be in my hands and then your hands!), I started my radio show Tantra Cafe, I completed the edits on a film we shot almost three years ago of Bliss: Beginner's Tantra, I birthed a new updated website for www.ButterflyWorkshops.com, I managed the day-to-day aspects of life and running a business and I took four courses at Learning Annex in Manhattan about free publicity and voiceovers (another life long dream). I taught four or five Bliss courses, led a couple of Introductions to Tantra up and down the east coast, hosted a book launch and Valentine's Puja without even having the book and just completed delivering the finest Ecstasy course ever! Oh yeah and there's the It Takes 2 Goddesses to Do New York Series that started up again. That too!

Someone said to me, your life is like the life of a big corporation with many departments. I had to laugh. Yes, it is and for the most part there is only me:-) I have a personal assistant from time to time and I feel it is such a blessing to have someone to work with. And of course, at the courses, there are many who assist. But for the most part, I am on my own and the amount I accomplish amazes me. I feel like a whirling dervish.

Many of these projects are completing as I write. The book really should be in my hands by next week. The film will be in my hands then as well. Then starts the marketing and publicity aspects of these products. Yet I feel it will be easier than actually managing so much into manifestation at the same time. At least I'm hoping.

I will take some well earned rest. I've started that already. I slept for four days over this past weekend trying to make up for three months.

What I really want now is to create a wonderful lover (or lovers) somewhere - somebody to be physical with, have yummy sex and get lots of nurturance for my soul with a man who gets me yet doesn't try to have or keep me. I want freedom to play and bask in the sun of it without strings of any kind. Of course, I still want and need to stay on purpose so I'm creating a drama-free situation for myself. Feels yummy just thinking about it.

Hey, are you out there? Mr. McYummy? Let me know. I need a couple of weekends with you and that's all. You must be Tantric and in a wonderful space in your life. Having a temple space at minimum would be great, a place where we could do Puja!

I distract myself.

Well, I will be blogging again on a regular basis. you can count on it. Life is great!

Namaste.

Really Feels Good to Be Back At Last

2007-02-09T01:01:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night I went to a dance performance with Om, one of my students/friends. His girlfriend Jennifer, was away and he asked me if I could be her "stand in" for the evening. She was thrilled that I said I could.

Now going to this performance led me to feel that I am really back in New York where there is always something artsy happening. It was a fabulous show based on a real life relationship between the two dancers who actually grew up together. Loved it.

Then we went for Indian food in the neighborhood of the East Village and I felt I was combining two loves. I love New York and I love India. We topped it off with desert at a place that serves only chocolate. My third love!

Welcome Home to New York!

2007-02-09T00:37:00.000-05:00

About a week after I got back to New York, I went to move my car in the morning for alternate side of the street parking (and then hopefully go to the gym) when I noticed my car's window had been smashed.

I remembered that the only other time in my life my car was broken into was in New York City when I was something like 22 years old.

I calmly (Thank you Tantra) got into the car and drive over to the apartment building where I am subletting my apartment for 2 months and parked it with the blinkers flashing so I could go up, get some plastic and tape the window shut against the cold and snow that was threatened that day.

The security guard came to inquire what I was up to. I explained my situation and he stated that I could not leave the car where I parked it. I said I had to tape the window and then go back upstairs, pack and shower since I was leaving town that day. After a lot of coaxing and flirting, I convinced him to let me do it, leave the car where it was. He agreed, but said I had to be down in exactly one hour - my god!

Well, the race against the was on. I ran through the apartment looking for material to tape the window. Then I ran back up to the 10th floor to shower and pack. I was headed to Fire Island to see my father for one night and then off to West Palm Beach to teach a Tantra & Bliss course. I purposely arranged to fly out of MacArthur Islip Airport so I could check in with my father before departing. So, I made it down and back to the car with 5 mintues to spare. I was really proud of myself.

Only thing was that when I went to start the car, the battery was dead. Okay what to do? finally a limo driver gave me a jump. I called Triple A and asked them to find me a glass shop on the way to Bay Shore (where I catch the ferry to FI). Done, I was on my way!

Got the window replaced, got some errands done, made the boat and figured I was free sailing.

Packed some warm weather clothes that were on FI and got ready for my trip the next morning. I took the 7:30am ferry just so I wouldanple time to do a few more errands and get to the airport on time. Guess what? The car wouldn't start. Of course over that night the temperatures had fallen to 10 below with the wind chill factor. So there I was in the ferry parking lot unable to move. And no one around. Within a half hour, someone came to the ferry dock and I asked for a jump.

Then I drove to an automotive place and replaced the battery ASAP. All this and I still made it to the airport. But when I got to the ticket counter, the ground attendant informed me that my plane was running late and that I would never make my flight connection. I said, "Oh no, I must get there tonight in enough time to decorate for a class I'm teaching tomorrow morning." He looked at me and knew I was very serious (meantime I was so calm I hardly recognize myself). He said, "The only thing we can do now is send you to Laguardia to get a different flight with a different connection." I jumped at it yet explained that I could have flown from there in the first place. I picked coming out to Long Island because the airport is so easy to navigate and I could visit with my father. He said, "Lady, it's Laguardia or nothing!"

So, a taxi drove me to the airport closest to Manhattan and I just barely made the flight. What a crazy couple of days. Welcome home!

Introducing Tantra Cafe - A Program for Spiritual Enlightenment - Internet Radio Show

2007-01-23T01:53:00.001-05:00

Hello Everyone!

It is my pleasure to announce Tantra Café, my new internet radio show on www.tribecaradio.net to you. This is my dream come true. Really I have dreamed of this show for a long time. It's like wow!

Let me tell you a little about Tantra Café…of course I’ll be addressing the subject of Tantra that has been so hyped yet misunderstood. It’s a topic that is naturally “hot” because of its sensual nature and its relationship to sexual energy. On this show I will emphasize its potential to quickly transform lives. Plus I will emphasize the spiritual nature of Tantra not the rest of the hype.

Tantra Café, provides a safe haven for people who want to learn more about Tantra by listening. I guarantee people can learn how to enhance life through the practice of Tantra and on this show I will demonstrate how. I will also make the show juicy and relevant to long time students of Tantra. There will be something of interest for everyone.

Following the Café theme, each show will have an Appetizer where I distinguish what Tantra is and is not by discussing a little history and theory. The Daily Specials segment will feature amazing guests. There is also a Tantra Take Out segment where I give you something “to go” possibly a breathing exercise or a meditation. On every show I’ll play Tantra Mood music featuring artists like Deva Premal, Jim McGrath and Professor Trance, the tunes I use in the Butterfly Workshops Tantra courses.

From time to time Tantra Café will feature Tantric Dessert where women and men from around the world share their True Love Stories, their sex and romantic lives – true stories to help heal relationships. We’ll talk about why Tantra is better than chicken soup for ailing relationships! It really is!

Hopefully, I’m stimulating your appetite enough to tune in to Tantra Café – A Program for Spiritual Enlightenment.

The show is broadcast every Tuesday evening at 10pm EST and rebroadcast Sundays at 10am EST on www.tribecaradio.net. Then it will go to pod cast. So, if you should miss a show you can go to www.tribeca.net and download it. The station website even gives you directions on how to download it into a program like iTunes. Then you can listen on your iPod or other MP3 player!

My first show will be aired January 23 and features Alan Steinfeld producer of New Realities TV (www.newrealities.com). Alan is a long time Tantrika and the interview is simply superb.

My second show will be aired Tuesday, January 30 and features our own Butterfly - Pat Sawyer, life coach, healer, author, cancer survivor. The show theme is Tantra as it relates to healing. Her comments on Tantra really move me.

I’ll be sending you notifications from time to time letting you know what topics will be coming up. If you like the show, you can support it by forwarding this email to your email lists. Perhaps your friends and loved ones would feel more comfortable learning about Tantra by listening in if they are less inclined to come to a workshop or course.

Tne last thing is that I’d love to hear the topics you’d like for me to cover on the show. Please feel free to write and let me know your ideas for topics and guests. I already have an amazing line-up, and I am open to hear from you about what you want to hear.

I am so happy about this long term dream come true. I can’t wait to hear from you after you have listened in. And I might add that this all has to do with Tantra and manifestation. I dreamed this a million times and then set about intending for it to happen through my practices.

Please remember to tune in. That’s Tantra Café on www.tribecaradio.net on your computers Tuesdays 10pm EST and Sundays 10am EST beginning this coming Tuesday.

Namaste,

Laurie

Live from New York City!

2007-01-13T12:43:00.000-05:00

Hey gang!

I moved into Manhattan last night. What a trip! When trying to find
a parking space, I noticed I was not moving fast enough nor was I
familiar with the ways of parking regulations in NYC. I had to change
my "perfect" spot 3 times before I was able to actually relax that I
had found a space for my vehicle. I had to laugh because I realized
that I am in an Indian paradigm on Indian time. I can hardly keep up
in NYC and ya know, I prefer it that way:-)

So, it took a long time to even settle in on a parking space (not like
the old me I used to know who was right on top of the City game!) I
imagine it is going to be a wild ride for the next couple months while
I am staying here. I can only laugh and move at my own (Indian) pace
as I navigate my way in the unknown. Latihan is going to come in
handy, actually already has. I kept thinking about us all going down
to the Ghats in Varanasi for evening Puja following Latihan principles
to get there and stay together as we snaked our way through the masses.

I said to myself while looking for gas in Astoria and then finding my
way back to the Triborough Bridge (which I haven't driven over since
the '70's), "If you can do this in India, you certainly must be able
to do this in New York - no sweat!" And then I burst out laughing. I
am having a ball already.

Happy New Year from Heaven

2007-01-08T12:14:00.000-05:00

I am in Rishikesh at the banks of the Ganga and the foot of the Himilayas. This is Heaven!

I'm glad I chose this over Goa. For me it was a quiet alone celebration of lovely Indian food followed by a steaming hot bath with lavender oil and a mediocre bottle of red wine. India hasn't got much to choose from on that front as you probably know.

This morning I started the year with an Ayervedic massage and then I walked down to the Ganga and dipped my new rudrash mala into the water of the sacred River Goddess.

I depart for Delhi late afternoon and I'll be back in the States on the 5th of January.

I wish you all the love, peace, blessings, abundance your heart desires. I believe 2007 is already an awesome year. Our trip was certainly a huge celebratory transition from '06 to '07.

Looking forward to re-connecting with each of you very soon.

Namaste,
Laurie

Perfect Happy New Year - Rishikesh

2006-12-31T08:34:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to all!

I write from such a beautiful place on the banks of the Ganga and at the foot of the Himilayas. Heaven on earth.

Yesterday when I arrived, Hem (pronounced Him) took me through the market and the ghats of Haridwar. Then we climbed up to a very high up fantastic Masadevi temple. It must have taken an hour to climb up there. He is very polite because he probably ciould have flown up being a mountain man, a true trekker. I had to stop many times.

Evidently the wishes one makes before going into this temple are surely granted by the great goddess. Or so I was told. Aside from my wishing for an abundant future where all my current projects become overnight successes, and my father's recovery from something like dimentia, I wished for the return of my silver hoop earring that I lost while making the climb as I shed some of my layers of clothing I was sweating so much.

While skipping merrily down the stairs from the temple in the sky, I did find it albeit not in the place where I had lost it. It had rolled down to about the 500th step in the thousand we climbed. Hem took this to be a good omen that the goddess would be granting all my wishes.

I bought a couple bananas in the market on the way back to the car and got them clipped from my hands by a fast monkey. What a scene.

We then traveled some distance to Rishikesh where what might seem like a budget hotel to most seemd like paradise to me - to have a tub and hot water again - what a treat!

Next we traveled to the banks of the Ganges and to the white sand beaches here. Very beautiful.

Next we crossed Shivanand Jhula (a beautiful pedestrian bridge) to the other side of the river to attend evening aarti ceremony in front of a huge Shiva statue sitting on rocks in the water. What a simple and different puja from the one in Varanasi. This one is full of saffron clad boys ages 8 to 18 singing their hearts out as they happily pray. And instead of thousands of people, possibly there were 300 - 400 making it seem like a very intimate experience. At some point a long-haired bearded swami arrived who clearly was the leader of said group, the center of the ceremony. Quite a moving spectacle.

After a light dinner of simple thali, I slept for 12 hours.

This morning I found my way to the Lakshiman Jhula and walked across to visit these tall temples that have layer upon layer of gods and goddesses maybe twelve stories tall in total. I hung with a family that was visiting at the same time and rang the many bells with the little girls.

I found my way to a German bakery and book store and learned from some tourists about the happenings this evening being offered for New Years celebrations.

I'll see what inner guidance says about whether to go or not, but I will have a great dinner and make a toast to all of you. I love you and miss you and send you love for the New Year from this heavenly place.

Namaste,
Laurie

Quick Stop Delhi - On to Rishikesh

2006-12-31T08:15:00.000-05:00

I decided to go to somewhere new for New Year's Eve (which it is now as I write.)

I flew from Goa to Delhi, met Amit for a quick dinner and re-packing my luggage from tropical clothes to warm weather gear. Then much too early yesterday morning I caught a train to Haridwar.

Here's what I wrote while on the train. From it you can tell I am not a morning person.

"I am riding on probably the cleanest of the filthy trains I have traveled on during this trip! I am unable to see out of the windows because of condensation. The pull-down table for eating is dirty. As the light breakfast is served complete with personal pots of hot water for tea, it seems the pots had never before been cleaned. And just now when I got up to go to the crappy Western style toilet, I noticed I have been sitting on chewing gum. Okay, what more? I surrender again!"

Well, I did not sleep at all that night before so maybe it is a little more than that I am not a morning person:-)

I still have to point out that once again I was taken care of beyond the beyond. At 5am that morning the hotel called to make sure I was up. Then Amit called to say that his uncle would meet me at the station to make sure I got on the right train and the right seat. And even the bellhop rode ion the bicycle rickshaw with me to hold my luggage and assure the people at the hotel that I would find Amit's uncle only having met him once before. For me, one who has always done everything for and by herself, this is an amazing turn of events happening here being so taken care of. I cannot get over it. Actually I never want to.

So how can it be that with the same breath, I complain about the train? I guess after a while the sanitation situation here gets to me and proably all Americans who would just as soon lemon pledge their armpits and crotches as well as their furniture.

I arrived in Haridwar an hour and a half late to be greeted by Hem, one of Amit's people. More in the next post.

5 More Days in Goa

2006-12-31T08:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, I live at the beach now so why would I choose to stay in Goa on yet another beach for five more days? Simple. I get to relax here. I don't have to do a thing. This is a rare state of grace for me. And the internet is right on the beach. How convenient.

So Amit cancelled his flight and we stayed in Palolem which is very beautiful to say the least. It's a half circle from one end to the other and has fabulous restaurants all along the beach. There is great seafood, great Chinese, Tai and even pizza.

The highlights of our stay were watching the fishermen bring in a daily catch, going to an all night Goa party and meeting lots of people from around the world, an attack of red ants on our tree hut and meeting an Indian businessman from Mumbai who would like me to present a Tantra training program to his company execs.

The rest was all REST!

Amit left the day before me and I was glad to get some alone time and go over the entire trip. In my estimation it was a lot more than I ever expected. The tour turned out to be fantastic and things I never could have imagined happened.

Also wherever I am in India it seems that I am always being taken care of, always contributed to by someone local. I prayed for this for years and find that it comes true in India all the time, but more and more in the US as well. A young boy named David (in Goa some people have biblical names because of the Christianity there) who had led me to the tree huts in the first place came to check in on me because he knew that Amit had left. He wanted to make sure I was okay being there alone and said he would accompany me in the taxi the next day to the airport. That was so sweet.

Kerala - Not Meant to Be

2006-12-28T10:27:00.000-05:00

I can only recall sitting at the train station in Goa waiting for my sleeper train to Cochin. I also remember taking 3 rock 'n'roll busses for a total of four hours to get from Gokarna to the train station in Margao, Goa. What a crazy mess to get where I want to go when there seem to be no direct routes either flying or training or anything!

The passenger buses were a little rough, but the truth is that I'm getting used to everything and I love it here even though there are some real inconveniences like bad air pollution, diesel trains, trash everywhere, trash fires, funky toilets and pushy hawkers. I can overlook it all when I am present to the love and peace I feel here.

I can even overlook all the smokers, hippie backpackers, men staring and beggars. It's all okay by me.

Okay, so I was sitting there at the train stattion when I discovered that the train I was supposed to take to Cochin, Kerala was now coming 6 hours late. What that means is instead of 9pm at night, it was now scheduled to be leaving at 3am. I sat together with Amit for awhile trying to detemine what to do if anything. All of a sudden, we discovered that this very same train was now deterred another 3-6 hours! No guarantee as to when it might arrive! Maybe 5:30am, maybe 6:30, maybe 7:30. Sorry. Not for me.

I lost it. I said, "Let's cash in my ticket and go back to your flop house!" (where he had taken a room thinking I would be on the train and that he would just rest until his flight back to Delhi that next afternoon.) Again I surrendered. Then I decided we should head back to Goa, Al Queda threat or no threat!

So, in the morning having spent the night in the absolute worst place in Margao, we headed out for Palolem Beach in south Goa. This is where I wanted to come last year, but could not figure out how to say it. On the way, I had the riskshaw stop at a wine shop so I could buy some before arriving in Palolem just in case. I paid 450 R's per bottle which is more than some of the rooms we have been staying in.

I remember when you could travel to Europe on $5 per day. Now I'm doing it on just a little more than that in India.

And my dreams of Kerala have gone down the Ganga. But my other wish to stay in a beach tree hut have now come true. I found this wonderful quiet and clean hut to stay in until departing for Delhi on the 29th of December.

Prayers Have Amazing Power

2006-12-28T10:18:00.000-05:00

I was just focusing on all that I have to do when I arrive back to Delhi and home to New York. It's amazing what can take me out of the present and bring me back again in one second.

In our noisy smelly rundown room on the beach in Gokarna, I was having trouble falling asleep. It must have been around midnight when I began to hear faint sounds of something other than sheer noise. All of a sudden I realized I was hearing people praying. I recognized the prayers from having heard the beginning of Krishna Dass'hit tune Om Na Ma Shivaya.

I went to the balcony and saw 20 monks, special ones who wear black. Amit says there are two groups from the south like this. Anyway, they were lined up perfectly facing the seashore and there they stood chanting old veda scriptures for about 45 minutes.

Standing there listening to them in the dark, watching the tide come and go was a mesmerizing experience.

It was worth all the craziness of the lowest class room in our itinerary, the Indian style toilet, the noisy taxi drivers outside our window and even the smells of the public urinal. I mean it was simply amazing!!! I became present to the miracle of the universe and surrender once again.

Gokarna, a Different Type of Beach Town

2006-12-27T11:28:00.000-05:00

We traveled on a regular Indian passenger train to Gokarna in a state south of Goa, but not Kerala. Konnecart is the name of the state, I think. Just as the ride on this very full passenger train was getting okay, meaning I sprinkled lavendar arounud our seating area, we went through a series of tunnels. Since the wondow were wide open, we breathed in a full dose of diesel fumes each time we hit a tunnel.

Gokarna is a sacred town on the ocean much like Pushkar, but a whole different climate.

By a great stroke of luck, Amit ran into a Nepalese man he knew in the train station who took care of us as far as arrangements in Gokarna. He helped with our travel plans to the town and then with getting a room which happened to be in the market of the town, but also overlooking the beach.

The room had a great view of the beach and also the public toilet! Our room had an eastern toilet as well. Don't worry, it only cost R's 200 per night which is about $5. Where else could a room with a view of the beach and ocean with a toilet like ours be available for such a price?

Luckily, I was okay with all this because I have surrendered so much.

I began a new and fully high potency regimen of holistic and homeopathic sprays as soon as we arrived and we did Tantric cleansing breath as much as we could remember to do it.

We visited the beautiful Om Beach on our second day there. It is named this because it is truly shaped like the Sanskrit symbol Om. Gorgeous place, very isolated and few people, but great water and scenery.

I loved it here, but wanted to get on to the rest of the south as soon as possible. Stay tuned.

On the Beach One Forgets About Threat

2006-12-27T03:53:00.000-05:00

I forgot to mention that I shopped on the beach earlier before the accident of my companions.

Many vendors come around on Vagator Beach. I bought three sarongs, four ankle bracelets, had a manicure and even got my eyebrows threaded! All of it came to about $16. I love my new eyebrows. I'm sure many of you ahve been wishing that I would do something with them for years. Well, I think I look really great with these new ones. Now of course, I will have to find an Indian woman in NY to do threading with me.

I also met with an Indian doctor I have been writing to on MySpace. He wants to learn Tantra. So I gave him and Amit a lesson together. Amit is taking to the Tantra really well.

A couple days later, when Amit was recovered enough and could drive the motorbike again, we set out to visit my good friends Sirus and Shantana in Morjim. They have almost completed their new place and I believe I will be doing wrokshops there by this time next year. What a spot complete with swimming pool and workshop facilities overlooking the ocean.

We had a lovely dinner with them and got ready to depart from Goa. I must admit that we did not think much about the threat to our security. The beach is beautiful and peaceful on Goa, it just doesn't go or even make sense that there would be a terrorist attack. But what do we know anyway?

On December 21, we left Goa by train heading towards Kerala.

Goa - Welcomes Me Back

2006-12-25T05:22:00.000-05:00

MOn Dec 16, much as I swore I would never take one of those buses back to Goa, I did! This time I took a sit-up lounge chair Volvo bus, not a rock'n'roll sleeper. Amit assured me this would be a better ride.

We took this bus ride because there were no train seats available, nor any plane tickets so the bus was for us. Oh there were scalpers outside the train station in Mumbai who were asking a fortune for train tix, but no dice.

We set out on the trip at 7:30 pm and arrived in Goa at 9am. Very late arrival. And even though the bus was much more comfortable than the last one I took where I was banging around in the back of the bus with no shock absorbers, for as many hours as we were in it, it was simply not comfortable. I feared the driver was going too fast on those mountain roads. I had a thought we might plunge to our deaths over the side of some mountain.

People's mobile phones were ringing all night long and I don't know if you know this or not, but Hindi is a very loudly spoken language. Many people think New Yorkers are loud, but they have nothing on Indians.

At some point really early in the morning when all the passengers were asleep, someone's cell alarm went off. Unfortunately when he finally turned it off, he only hit snooze. So off it went again and again and again every ten minutes or so. I have been very surrendering on this trip as I must be in India, but this really pissed me off. I lost it. I could not believe that the other people on the bus were just tolerating it and not saying anything to the person who obviously was the guilty culpret. So I started speaking up about it. I said, "Please turn it off." Then, "Turn that phone off." Then "Turn that damn phone off!" And then all the Indian people around him started poking him awake so he finally turned off the phone!

Upon arrival to Mapusa, we discovered that Anil (who works for Amit) had failed to make hotel arrangements for us. I got to look at my old reliable friend, anger. It showed right up. I expressed it calmly to Amit and then we carried on finding a place to stay for the night in a shitty hotel in Anjuna. It came complete with a poisonous frog living in the bathroom.

I noticed that I don't like to express anger in India (Amit is connected to me enough to just "get it.") It works much better to surrender. So many cultures and countries have invaded India over thousands of years, but none of them took over the Indian culture. India was big enough to absorb all their cultures and make them part of India rather than the other way around. So why should I try to change anything here? Expressing anger to Anil or even prefering that people not talk on their mobiles while on the bus is a complete waste of time.

Once we moved to a better room in Vagator, things began to change for the better although we had some interesting challenges.

The news came that the Israeli government issued a warning to Israeli people hanging out in Goa for the holidays that there would be an Al Queda attack. What to do? Goa which is usually filling up from December 15 on, was empty. The Indian government issued a counter statement assuring Goa was safe, not to worry. Who to trust? Israel? India? Government in general?

During the early evening before dinner, Anil was driving Amit to pick up a motorbike we could use to get around when he missed seeing a speed breaker. They both went up in the air and landed on their asses. Anil's head and arms got bloodied up. Amit received a huge gash on his right knee and many minor bruises everywhere else. What a mess! Luckily I had a first aide kit. I knew being a girl scout long ago would eventually pay off.

Despite, Amit's injuries, we two went to the Saturday night flea market and there were many people there from all over Goa. This market is even more wild than the Camdentown Market in London. I noticed I had the thought that if I were planning a terrorist attack, I would do it here. This did not give me a warm feeling.

The next day we heard that there would be no more open flea markets in Goa for the rest of the holiday season. Evidently the government officals of Goa were thinking like I was. The question remained should we stay in Goa or move further south?

Mumbai, Here I Come!

2006-12-23T10:27:00.000-05:00

I took the Pragati Express train from Pune to Mumbai. There Amit met me with a huge smile.

I felt bad and good leaving the ashram and all my friends there, but I was on my way to more adventure.

Mumbai is a hot a beautiful city. It is on the Arabian Sea and has a beach and a big walkway all along the water. Very beautiful at night indeed. Amit and I walked for a few miles and then took a taxi to the only niteclub that seemed to be open on a Tuesday, Voodoo. What a weird joint, but fun none-the-less.

The next day and evening we visited the restaurant Leopold's made famous in the novel Shantaram (a must read). Actually we went there three times in the two short days we were in Mumbai.

We also took a ferry to Alibagh to look at potential property for and ashram, a Butterfly ashram. That was a fun experience too. It's a lot like Goa and the ferry ride reminded me of going to Fire Island where I now live. By the way, I had already looked at things in the resort town of Lanavala near Pune as far as property goes. It's all been great in the adventure.

I hope you're getting the sense that I want to be here in India because I do:-)

And I am planning to bring two groups back here with me in 2007, maybe you will be part of one.

Namaste.

The Ashram Experience

2006-12-21T23:54:00.000-05:00

This time I had the chance to attend many new meditations containing the wonderful and powerful techniques of Osho.

I experienced No Dimension Meditation which is a sort dance movement, then whirling (my favorite) and then laying face down. I also went to Mandala Meditation in which one runs in place for 1/2 hour; then sits and allows the body to flow either in rocking or gentle movements 10 minutes; then makes clockwise eye movements for 10 minutes and then just sits in silence. This one was so powerful I felt like I was walking on the moon afterwards.

I also attended a piece called Heart Dance which incorporated song and Sufi dancing. It was fun and in it, I met lots of people. I am clear I will use some of this at my next TrancenDance in DC at the beginning of the Ecstasy course. I had forgotten how lovely Sufi dancing can be and how connective.

I was able to attend Kundalini Meditation and Nadabrahma Meditation as well. So, I really had a full dose of many of the techniques.

Of course I danced in the Buddha Grove as often as I could and generally had a great time seeing old friends and making new ones. As a matter of fact I had as good a time outside the ashram as inside.

After Sharon left, I moved into and apartment with two beautiful men Anandgyan from Italy and Saksheen from Argentina. I stayed with them for 7 days and we had a ball together. We stayed up late and discussed many subjects from what's happening in the ashram to the mastery of self-love. I even went to a fantastic concert with Anandgyan at an old fort in the center of Pune.

The concert was called Remember Shakti and was a mixture of east meets west with the featured stars Zakir Hussain (most famous tabla player in the world) and John MacLoughlin (American guitar player from the old Mahavishnu Orchestra days). The other musicians were equally powerful and the Indian singer Mahadevan was amazing.

In addition to hanging out with the guys, I saw my friend Jwala often and I went to have massages from my old freinds at Shaka Spa. I also had many meetings with Ashiq and was able to buy gemstones and tankas from him.

Four more weeks in India were in front of me at this point and I felt great!

Pune, Here We Come!

2006-12-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

While Sharon and I, the only two going to the Osho Ashram from the tour, traveled, I received a call from my new web designer (who happens to live in Pune) Nikhil, saying that he would pick us up at the Pune airport and that he would arrange for a place for us to stay.

I felt so taken care of. And by the way, he took care of everything beautifully. What a doll! Sharon and I shared a penthouse apartment including a huge patio for the time we shared in Pune. This apartment was located one block from the ashram. How cool!

When we settled in, I thought we should get some food etc. so we walked down to the famous German Bakery area and I ran into my great friend and Butterfly from Florida (via Colorado and Pune), India - that's her name. We had not seen each other for over a year and there she was standing on the corner calling my name. I almost cried I was so happy to see her.

Then after we shopped, we ran into my friend Ashiq from Kashmir who did Reiki on me last year after I had had a fight with someone in my hotel. He gave us rides home on his motorcycle and said he would clear my energy. Who could ask for anything more? And he did. He took off all the stress from running a tour and trying to please everyone while teach in such a foreign place.

I can say one thing for sure. When I arrive in India I feel home. When I arrive in Pune, I feel like I have lived here for years. I feel as familiar with Koregon Park as I do with Cleveland Park in DC. I lived there for 20 years. That's saying something.

Tour Summary Please Read

2006-12-18T12:25:00.000-05:00

One of my teachers, Deva, said to me once, "India = streets dirty, minds clean. America = streets clean, minds dirty."

I leave you with this concept to contemplate in your "monkey mind."

I know for sure the members of this tour group got to see something for themselves they would never have accessed if they had not been with me on this trip. I made sure they would get it from many perspectives, as many as possible.

I know they went home with more than they bargained for literally and figuratively.

And I am so proud of them. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I feel knowing that each and everyone fell in love with India. They came away awestruck at what they saw, but more what they received. I don't know where else on earth it is possible to have so much access to love. That's the bottom line. LOVE.

Indians offer it up in so many forms, that it is easy for Westerners to miss it thinking they are just selling something. But the truth is they are offering their hearts unafraid of rejection yet hoping for connection. It's about as upfront as anything I have ever seen. But it may be illusive to us because we look and say, "What does he/she want from me?" Nothing. Even if we don't buy the trinket or statue, they are so happy to interact with us, we are missing the forrest for the trees.

I know the Butterflies came away from this one completely altered for good, forever. Thank Goddess.

Namaste,
Laurie

Khajuraho - the Crescendo of the trip!

2006-12-15T06:17:00.000-05:00

On November 30, we went to all the major temple groups in the morning. People loved the Tantric temples. Who wouldn't? Maybe that's not such a fair question. Well, the quality and quantity of the carvings on these ancient temples are not to be missed. I feel they should be added as one of the wonders of the world.

We were able to do a puja right there on the steps of one of the more remote temples which was totally amazing. Imagine people gazing into each others eyes, touching each other's hearts while standing before and ancient Tantric temple with a crowd of local onlookers who watched us with wonder in their eyes and love in their hearts. My dream come true!

Later in the day we visited the old village of Khajuraho. It was noticeably clean. We were followed throughout by many of the the children, maybe even all the children. I felt like we were the Pied Pipers as we walked through each part of the town and each caste. Everyone gave the children candies and even shampoo and soaps. Some gave US money for the children to collect things like dollar bills and Kennedy half dollars.

We visited a school and were invited in by the principal to sit in the lessons, but our visit was a little disruptive to the book learning that was going on in three distinct groups. All the children in these groups wanted to look at us.

The Butterflies was extraordinary. Jeanne brought out a surprise of pencils, hats and T-shirts from home for all the children. How could she have known that we would find such an opportunity? But she did. She had intended for it. And Catherine was so moved, she began to cry. While crying, she made a generous financial contribution to this school and so the principal was certainly happy that we stopped by.

Seepu arranged for this part of the tour and I believe for most people, it was the highlight. A very rich experience indeed, the crown jewel in the India experience.

Happy Birthday OSHO!

2006-12-11T04:09:00.000-05:00

Just want to skip ahead and say today the entire ashram area of Pune is celebrating Osho's 75th birthday today even though he left his body in 1990. I imagine people all over the world celebrating.

It's my last day in Pune and I have already had a grand time dancing and doing a new meditation called Mandala Meditation. Soon I will be singing Kirtin in the park and celebrating some more. Fantastic!!!!

Love to you from Osho,
Laurie

Birthday on the Ganga

2006-12-11T03:34:00.000-05:00

We had such fun in Varanasi. We were floating on the Ganges (called Ganga) at dawn on my birthday, Nov 27, and we were at the ghats in the evening for puja. People were very moved at seeing the Indian people worship by swimming and bathing in this river goddess. And they also witnessed the burning crematoriums even though at the time we were there, no bodies were being burned.

What a place to celebrate my birthday - in this holiest of Hindu cities.

We even shopped on the Ganga as boat merchants pulled up alongside us. I swear we were the "shoppingest" group I ever saw. At some points on the river trip, Delwood and Randall took over for our oarsman. I'm sure that has never happened to him before.

Basically we shopped till we dropped onto massage tables for various treatments in Varanasi.

We visited a huge Shiva temple and the famous Hanuman Monkey temple. People went for a short trip to Saranath where Buddha gave his first speech after enlightenment, but I did not go since I began feeling ill on my special day.

Despite my stomach starting to do flips and being stuffed up hardly able to breathe, we had a fabulous birthday celebration and I felt completely honored by people's love. We drank champagne and wine. We ate a beautiful "chocolate" birthday cake first before having dinner - that's how they do it in India - just like the Gate Dinner in the Ecstasy workshop. And we did a wonderful exercise over dinner with the Goddess Mandalas.

That I night when I went to bed, I had to put tissue up my nose so I could get some sleep without my runny nose waking me up all night.

And in the morning I vomited 5 times. On our way to the airport, I felt numb, like I had left my body. I could feel nothing. I must have been in deep survival mode. Of course there was a big drama too because we had to leave for the airport earlier than expected. Our flight had been rescheduled to leave earlier than our tickets stated. And Randall and Marie were out shopping! It was one of those wild rides praying all the way that they would get back to the hotel in time to just hop into a taxi and meet up with us. Surely that is what did happen, but it was tense there for about 1/2 hour.

Then in the airport, while I was standing in the line with my ticket, I started getting sick again. Oh my god! I was embarrassed as hell, but what could I do? The restrooms were worse than where I was standing and I just could not help it by getting myself to them in time. So, there I was bent over in a corner being sicker than I can ever remember. Then I sat down in a wheel chair to wait for the group and tried to come back to my senses. The nicest man started to push me through the lines. So, I stayed in the chair and and began to enjoy myself despite it all. Surrender? Ya think?

I sat next to Andrea and Catherine and went to sleep on the 40 minute plane ride to Khajuraho. I felt so out of it and then, we had what you might call a crash landing. Yes, it seemed our pilot dropped us right out of the sky onto the tarmac. Since I was in such a deep sleep, I actually thought we either had died or were going to die shortly and I hoped it would be quick invoking very little pain. Andrea started to laugh at me when I told her. She assured me we were alive.

Okay then. Off we stepped to meet Seepu and find our way to the crescendo of the tour. Stay tuned.

Namaste,
Laurie

Transformation Wherever We Go

2006-12-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

The other day Amit was teaching me about good guides and bad guides. He insisted that the one we had in Jaipur, Ajay, was just okay. He explained that Manish, my good friend and guide in Agra was not powerful enough to hold the group together.

In the night when we were afraid at the Agra train station, Manish accompanied us. He admitted to me and Amit that we had been his first group ever! He was so thankful that I had hired him and given him the chance to work with a group. This gave me an opening to coach him for the future about expanding bigger and letting his voice grow. He was so happy to hear these things.

So, not only was the group transforming, but the people around us were too. The ones serving us in one way or another could feel our open energy and much of the process became a beautiful energy exchange.

Another amazing element of the tour is that Ryan is getting the opportunity to be part of the film crew. Ryan is 15 and attends a special high school that focuses on film making. So, not only is this his Thanksgiving holiday, but he is receiving education on the job and he will receive a credit listed in the credits when the film is complete. How cool is that?

I can imagine Ryan being the director of something I film in the future. He is truly great!

So much is going on on so many levels.

Ciao for now,
Laurie

Overnight Train to Varanasi

2006-12-08T03:26:00.000-05:00

While on the train to our next destination, I wrote, "This is a comedy routine and I can't bring myself to describe it all!"

You should have seem us at the train station. First of all we were told that there were "bad men" in the train station who would touch the women on their private parts. I made great efforts to encourage the group to stay together with the men on the outside rim of the group.

We entered the station and found our place on the platform only to discover that our train was late. Okay, it's India. What to do? Surrender.

So some of us began drinking Indian rum. Amit drank quite a bit. By the time the train arrived and we had to get in, sort through our luggage and find out sleeper compartments, we looked like a scene from I Love Lucy. We were in pandemonium and we caused this state all around us with everyone on the train.

Finally we settled down to some poor India food being served and then everyone went to sleep, or at least I thought we all did. There were up and down bunks with curtains some arranged in groups of four and some just in a straight line on the other side of the isle.

I slept until about 8:30 am when I awoke to find the film crew outside shooting footage of the locals who met the train to sell chai, etc. The children around them handed us neem branches and told us they were toothbrushes. We laughed only to find out that in fact, these branches when the bark is peeled back, give off a mint taste that is totally refreshing. So, there we all stood with branches in our mouths rubbing the innermost parts on our gums. And of course, we almost caused a riot when Amit went to tip them and asked them to share from whatever size bill he handed to one of them. He managed to calm them and I believe the hungry mob did follow his advice about sharing since when we departed they all seemed happy.

Well, then I discovered that Randall had not slept the entire night. Evidently he was too big for his bunk. Marie did not sleep either, but I do not know why.

something I am noticing about this tour is that much to my surprise we are getting to interact with more common Indian people than I imagined and about this I am happy. There's no question that the camera is attracting children wherever we go and many adults as well. They all gather around to see what we are shooting. And then they want to be a part of it. Many of them think we are fashion models or movie stars so they come to see.

But I think it's the openness and the generosity of our group members that attracts them to move right along with us through the throngs of the crowds, through all the hawkers.

Helen. As I mentioned before, hangs out with the kids for as long as we are in a particular spot. And Sharon heard music the night before when we were in Agra, went down into the street with Andrea and ended up dancing in an Indian wedding procession!

They say they would not have been able to make this trip to India without me. They would not have done it alone. I know I have provided a safe space for their experience and transformation and I too am transformed by them. I feel even more connected to India through their connection.

I am truly blessed.

Laurie

Taj Mahal

2006-12-07T04:14:00.000-05:00

From Jaipur, we set out for Agra, home of the Taj Mahal.

On the way, we stopped at a beautiful bird sanctuary where we saw many forms of wild life including spotted deer, antelope, owls, lizards and most importantly the fantastic kingfisher bird. Indians have named a beer and an airplane company after it and now I know why. It is bright blue on the wings with a red beak. What a great looking bird!

Most of us traveled in this huge sanctuary via bicycle rickshaw, but not Amit, Helen and Dana. They rented their own bicycles and as fate would have it, they got lost, very lost. We patiently awaited their return to the group while sitting on the bus. Some of us were less patient than others.

Anyway, after a whole additional hour passed, I started to get worried. Also Amit had left his mobile phone on the bus so there was no way to call to see what was happening to them. Finally they arrived back and told us how lost they had been. Helen said they had begun to make plans for their survival in the wilderness.

At last we set out on our journey again so happy to have them back with us. Unfortunately we arrived at one of my favorite places, Fatehpur Sikri quite late in the day. It was difficult to see the beauty of this once rich palace of Akbar the Great. We were able to make wishes in the famous burial place of the Sufi mystic who advised this great ruler, but we could not see much of the splendid architecture. What's more, there were so many hawkers, maybe 5 to each one of us, we were swamped by what they perceived to be there last big sale of the day.

Helen, growing impatient with the hawkers, turned to one of them and said, "Look you are annoying me, I will sell these necklaces for you if you get out of my face." So all of a sudden we could ear our very own Helen yelling, "Four for three, five for four!" I had to laugh out loud. She actually sold four necklaces to one of our own tour members and the hawkers and children following along were amazed! What a hoot!

We certainly blazed a trail wherever we went, but Helen in particular. She related to all the children we saw, no matter how tattered or poor, as if she were their friend. And they followed her everywhere with admiration and joy.

We stopped a for possibly our worst meal in some tourist trap restaurant before checking into a 5 star hotel in Agra. We seriously needed the sleep and prepared ourselves to arise early so we could see the Taj at dawn.

My guide from my last trip to India, Manish, met us in the wee hours and off we went to visit the 7th wonder of the world. We planned with the film crew to try to sneak the video cameras into the Taj grounds. Of course, to get into the Taj these days, you have to pass through metal detectors so this was no easy feat. We even brought bribe money in case we should get stopped.

After everyone posed for their picture on the Lady Di bench, we made our way to the most fantastic monument to love ever constructed. I found out more about the story on this trip due to Andrea's knowledge of the subject. It seems that Shah Jahan loved this wife of his, Mumtas, more than life itself. She too loved him with a passion. During the course of her 14th pregnancy, she rode off into battle along side him, she adored him so. When she went into labor, it proved to be fatal. In her last request to him, she asked that he build her a memorial to end all memorials and thus, the idea for the Taj was planted firmly with her beloved. Wow, wow!

After winding our way through the building and the grounds, we made our way to one of the gardens. There we filmed a piece on female-male energy balancing. And yes, we did have to bribe one of the guards.

We then visited the Agra Fort and saw the jail where Shah Jahan was imprisoned by his sons for squandering the family fortune on the proposed building of the Black Taj for his own burial place.

We had lots of fun with whole Indian families who had come as tourists to this fort. We posed for photos with many many children and a Sikh family and God knows who else. Our group was so unruly in terms of staying together, buy this point, that we seemed to always be waiting.

My solution was for us to do some Emotional Release on the bus. Once we were clear, we could set out again as a cohesive group.

Namaste for now,
Laurie

Tantric Tour through Heart of India - Details

2006-12-05T07:52:00.000-05:00

People arrived in Delhi on November 20. A few arrived a little before. Randall, Ryan and Marie went white water rafting in Rishikesh before the rest of us arrived. The tour encompassed the following places over eleven days:

Pushkar
Jaipur
Agra
Varanasi
Khajuraho
Delhi

Here are the tour participants:
Randall Rodriguez - West Palm Beach, FL
Ryan Rodriguez (Randall's son)
Marie York - Jupiter, FL
Helen Varble - West Palm Beach, FL
Sharon Albrecht - Washington, DC
Jeanne O'Donnell - Washington, DC
Delwood Richardson - Boston, MA
Dana Tonelli - Boston, MA
Catherine Lawrence - Philadelphia, PA
Andrea Durham - Philadelphia, PA

A British film crew from Slack Alice Films shot most of the tour and captured some amazing footage. Director: Alex Snelling. Producer: Kirsty Allison. Crew: Alex Wriggles (Added to crew: Ryan Rodriguez)

Our Indian tour guide throughout: Amit Aurora

Cobras, the Coach and Kali

2006-12-04T03:20:00.000-05:00

The last time I was in India, I never saw one cobra. Not one. No snake charmers ever appeared to me even though I was informed they were everywhere I went. Never did I see one. Seepu, my guide in Khajuraho once said to me, "You want too much, therefore you will not see." It was a not-so-subtle lesson in non-attachment.

This trip, there have been cobras everywhere. We literally stood watching the side-by-side charmers as they played their flutes to charm their snakes while in the market in Pushkar. And I was thrilled beyond compare just to see real cobras.

During the first leg of the trip, we were transported in a huge AC coach (a bus to us). Because there were a total of 15 of us, it allowed for plenty of leg and rest room as well as an opportunity for me to teach while we traveled. I remember the weekends at Landmark Education during the IFLP when we would travel to NYC from DC. One by one we would take the mic at the front of the bus and share our hearts out. So, I decided to make the same kind of use of this bus.

While watching our driver navigate the incredibly crowded highways of India from Delhi to Pushkar we set our intentions for the trip and then some. They ranged from "I want to learn to honor and deal with my anger," to "I want to truly let go and experience surrender in India," and everything in between.

On the way to Jaipur, we did Emotional Release Osho Gibberish style right on that big ol' bus! What fun!

So, I guess we were ready for Kali when we met her. Can you ever be truly ready?

We rode our big lovely elephants up to the Amber Fort of Jaipur in pairs Amit and I leading the way. It was fairly early in the morning when we arrived at the entrance of the fort right where the Kali temple is. And as we took off our shoes, belts, socks, the bells began to clang and drums began to boom. We scurried in to see real priests performing a puja to Kali opening the temple for the day. Standing there letting the bells and drums take us over, many of the group went into spontaneous release. It was difficult not to. Marie began to cry buckets. She was joined to an extent by Sharon and Dana. Delwood, too, was totally effected by this ceremony. Very very powerful. Hey, but what else would you expect?

In the ten minutes that it took for the puja to reach completion, each and every one of us had been transformed without "doing" a thing. All we had to "do" was show up.

What an amazing way to start our exploration in the Pink City.

Jaipur is the capital of India's most colorful state - Rajasthan. The entire city of jaipur is painted a dusty rose by law. It started in 1876 when the Prince of Wales (who later was crowned Edward the VII) was visiting Maharaja Ram Singh, the color was used to welcome him and then it stuck.

There are hilltop forts and stately palaces wherever you turn. The streets are jam-packed with camel carts, cars, cows, rickshaws, pigs, motorcycles and pedestrians. Bright turbans sit atop every man's head while the most colorful saris in India catch the eye as if the women wearing them were butterflies.

When we left the Kali temple, we explored the Amber Fort, the royal City Palace and an observatory named Jantar Mantar built to view models of the heavens for astronomy and astrology purposes and to ascertain the correct Jaipur time.

In the evening, we had a wonderful Indian Thanksgiving Dinner. each of us shared what we are thankful for. I was very moved by a lot of what people shared, but in particular Ryan. He is just the most amazing teenager. I cannot remember all of what he shared at this point, but I know it set me to crying. I'll see if I can get him to write it so I ccan add it in at some point.

See you again soon,
Laurie

Backtrack Adding to the Adventure

2006-12-04T01:08:00.000-05:00

So, just to fill you in on what exactly happened to me before the tour began...I mentioned I missed my flight to London. That set in motion a series of events out of my control. I surrendered. Over and over again.

Luckily, even though I did not have a flight out of London to India until a day after arriving there, the film makers - Alex and Kirsty (from the UK closeby to Heathrow) of www.SlackAliceFilms.com (or .co.uk not sure), helped me find a place to stay in their home with the friends who were house sitting for them. Thank Goddess for techbnology. It all got accomplished by text messaging from India to me in Heathrow, to the couple staying in Ealing and back so that I did not run out of minutes.

Of course, when I finally arrived in India three days late, ha, ha, ha, I surrendered again. Amit met me at the airport with a huge bouquet of flowers and I felt all at once at home. All my people had pretty much arrived before me and they were raring to get going. I sent some of them on an excursion into Delhi while I met with the film team. In case you do not know what I am talking about, we decided to make a documentary of this Tantric Tour in the Heart of India. And so tired as I was from crazy things out of my control, we set up the first interview with me to set the stage for the shooting to come.

That evening, I lost my US cell phone somewhere on the way to the restaurant or back. I guess it served me quite well up until then and then I had no further use for it. Another oipportunity to surrender. I think there is a theme surfacing here, eh?

Ciao for now!
Laurie

Hoodwinked & Bamboozled in Pushkar for starters

2006-12-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

Pushkar is a small, magical, desert-edged town. Under a mother-of-pearl sky, pale onion domes and 400 milky-colored temples curl around a holy lake said to have appeared when Brahma dropped a lotus flower. It's an important Hindu pilgrimmage center, with one of the world's few Brahma temples. And it is perhaps best known for the Pushkar Camel Fair held during the full moon in November each year. (accordng to Lonely Planet India Guide)

Why did I choose Pushkar in which to start the Tantric Heart of India Tour? Pushkar is small amd managable. It is easy to navigate. I wanted people to get acclimated to India and Indian people in a small town before possibly getting overwhelmed in bigger cites teaming with people. It made perfect sense to me. What a lovely place to begin.

The highlights of our visit to Pushkar include wonderful shopping in the central market. We bought things like jewelry, clothes, essential oils, and instruments. We rode on camels. We learned about Brahma, the first of the Hindu trinity, creator of it all. (Evidently he wanted to perform a ritual at the lake. When his wife, Savitri was late, he quickly married another - Gayatri - on a whim. Savitri cursed him vowing that he would only be worshipped in this little town, nowhere else on earth.)

We climbed Savitri's mountain at dawn up to her temple and performed our Rishi Isometrics overlooking the entire valley. Observing us was a huge family of monkeys. They watched us the way we usually watch them. It was great fun.

Later that same morning, we visited Brahma's famous temple and picked up a "guide" along the way. Of course, Amit, our main guide for the whole trip had warned us not to separate, to be wary of "would be priests" offering to pray for us and make pujas on the lake. I thought I knew what to expect, but was I ever fooled. The man at the emple encouraged us to take flower petals from the temple and walk down to the lake to put them in as an offering to our families. I saw nothing wrong with this. I figured it would be a nice little gesture.

As soon as we got to the ghats (the holy steps leading down to the lake), some man grabbed me and started saying, "Say Om." "Say namo." "Say bagavate." I said, "Look here, I know this chant and I just want my people to put their flower petals into the water. Out of my way!" But it was too late. Everyone of us had been diverted into the hands of some would be priest. We were divided and conquered so easily. These priests demanded money and plenty of it to bless our families. When I tried to stop the show and gather everyone together, I was asked to leave the ghats and blocked from re-entering.

Randall and Marie ended up donating $20 to the cause. A few people got away with a few rupees. Helen gave her "priest" $100!

I made the "guide" we met at the temple apologize to everyone of the Butterflies for leading us astray. He feigned innocense, but I knew better.

When we got back onto the bus, Amit was worrried about where we had been for so long. We told him what had happened and then we all started laughing. We knew we would remember the experience forever and really it was a great place to start. We were initiated into the unknown and had to surrender.

For the rest of the trip I would remind everyone that in India all we can do is surrender. Many cultures have invaded India over the centuries, but they have never taken over to become the dominant culture. India always expands and makes the invader Indian rather than the other way around. And so it was with us as we began our whirlwind journey in the jewel of Pushkar.

Adventure Begins When I Least Expect

2006-11-27T04:02:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not writing sooner to all of you who have been anxiously awaiting my blog again from India.

The adventure began the minute I left Fire Island. I missed my flight to London. I read my airplane ticket wrong thinking 7:30 was PM when it was AM that I was scheduled to depart. So I ended up catching a flight to London, but was unable to get out for India the day I landed after waiting in Heathrow from 6:30 AM to 8PM. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I was so tired and frustrated, but luckily I have friends in London who could put me up (actually the flim makers from this trip text messaged me telling me to call their home and stay with their house sitters).

So I made it to Delhi two days after I was supposed to.

And as they say, I hit the ground running. Haven't stopped since.

The group and the tour is awesome and I will tell all as soon as I have another chance. I will post photos as well just as soon as I can.

I am quickly writing today from Varanasi, but will back track for the sake of sharing with all who could not attend this time around.

Meantime hope all is well with you.

Om nama shivaya,
Laurie

Congratulations to Americans for Waking the Fuck Up!

2006-11-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

Now we have the DIM-ocrates. Maybe we can collectively breathe some consciousness into them before the end of the world.

Please keep doing what you're doing in terms of bringing consciousness to the planet and please spread the word about Butterfly Tantra work and all the rest of it to your friends and loved ones. We are on a race for time, no?

Remember if you are suffering, you add suffering to the planet. If you are light (which you are already), you light up the world. Keep practicing emotional release, breathing and squeezing. Make yourself happy and peaceful within.

Next show the DIM-ocrats who you happen to know personally how to be happy and peaceful within. Maybe they can become Light-ocrats

Then we'll see some lighter results in our world.

Namaste,

Laurie

Amazing Recent Trip to UK & Ireland

2006-10-29T21:36:00.000-05:00

I went back to London after three years of being away. It was amazing to be back!

When I left back then I was heart broken and breaking up a significant relationship. I had it that all of the London experience then was against me. How dramatic! Ha ha ha. I loved drama back then.

Anyway, I returned there mid-September and had just the best time imagineable.

I went to the Yoga Show at Olympia Halls and took lovely classes in different types of Yoga and Pilates. The classes were great. But even better was running into old friends I had not seen in years. I got a great welcome from so many people - Mel Donovan, Soliman, Paul Terrell and of course Pat Sawyer and Frank Pitts. I felt just like I was home again.

I also met Seda who has a retreat center in Turkey named Surya (the sun). I really want to organize a tour to Turkey next year and check out her place. Why not?

I purposely saw my ex at the end of the show and thanked him for all the lessons and contributions. I felt so complete. London proved to be outstanding better then I can ever remember.

On Wednesday 20 Sept, I held a Tantra gathering in the flat I had in Primrose Hill. A bunch of people came to do an Osho Meditation and to meet me. We had a ball. We did dancing in place and then Gibberish followed by silent meditation. Despite the train sounds, we were able to get very calm in a limited time frame. We then had snacks and got to know each other a little better. I believe it was fun for all.

An important Tantra person who attended was Kavida Rei from www.TantraLink.co.uk. When we looked into each other's eyes, we had to laugh because we are twins in a certain way. How wonderful!

Over the following weekend, I went to Essex to a place called Alto-Sax Retreat Centre. There I led a Tantra & Bliss weekend and got to know some more wonderful people. What a fantastic weekend we had in a 600 year old farm house, swimming pool and hot tub plus fabulous food. I never imagined it would be so good.

What can I say? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you all for showing up and for tranforming my UK experience.

I have just set my dates to go back there. I can hardly wait now. June 22 -24 will be the next Tantra & Bliss workshop at Alto-Sax. I will plan other events in London on either side of that weekend.

And while I'm on the subject of mentioning amazing people, acknowledging them for making my UK experience the best ever, I want to thank Kirsty Alison and Alexx Snelling who I met in Goa last January. Kirsty opened her contact list to me to help promote my upcoming book release and then together, they decided to accompany me back to India this November to make a video of the Heart of India Tour

How good can it get?. Yeah, Baby!

After all this, I went to Ireland and toured around with two of my old friends from high school Pat (Seaman) Corrigan and Tom Bechtle. How much fun we had! We laughed all the way aournd the west and south coasts probably the most beautiful country in the world. The greens are greener than anything I have ever seen. How can grass be that green? And the sky there was bluer than blue. Ireland is known as The Jewel. I can definitely see why - when you have such pure colors, why do you need diamonds? All you do is look up or look all around and you are rich.

I'll be writing more regularly again as the India tour takes off. Stay tuned.

Crazy Money Stuff

2006-07-26T00:49:00.000-04:00

Recently a student and friend of mine who is a financial planner wrote me a confrontational email. The message was basically that he was angry because I was out of integrity with him. I had not called him back when I said I would on numerous occasions.

I immediately picked up the phone to call him. I apologized for being out of integrity with him and said I had no reasons or excuses, wouldn't even offer one, just sorry for being rude and abusing his time.

In the moment, he was happy to hear from me and glad I was apologizing and taking responsibility. Then we started to talk some more.

I admitted that I had resistance to calling him. Yes, I could see it had to do with time and working on finishing my book Sex and Happiness: The Ten Tantric Laws of Initimacy, but I saw more than that. I actually saw I have anxiety about money and talking about it. Whoa...how could this be? I'm into Tantra - having it all. While money is not my primary motivator, I sure do like it so what could be holding me back?

As we continued, I saw that my parents were very different in their approach to money and gave mixed messages. I also saw that I respected them differently and turned out to be like the one who doesn't pay too much attention to it (the one I'm currently taking care of and helping to get his finances together.) There are no mistakes. The Cosmic Joke strikes again.

I also distinguished that growing up in New York as a Jew amongst budding JAPS was not my thing. I wanted to be anything but that - no entitlement syndrome here.

I can only imagine what else I have lurking behind the concept of planning around money. God!
You'd think it was a curse.

So, I made a comitment to him that I would call as soon as the book is done (only a day away now) and that I would take some other actions he suggested to sure up my financial future in a way I have never even thought about before.

All I could think was I must finally be growing up.

Non-attachment & Invitation to a New World

2006-07-05T16:19:00.000-04:00

This conversation is connected to my last Sacred Union Post and a little different. I actually wrote it before I wrote the last post and the feelings pre-date Mystical Sacred Union. For me, it's worth sharing.

Let's start with this as the context: We are spiritual beings having a human experience. As spiritual beings, we experience no separation because we are not locked into any particular form. So, we are all connected and one.

Then we get born into this life. We actually choose it. That's where the trouble begins.

Non-attachment is about the "human being" wanting to attach itself to "whatever" starting with the umbilical chord attached to our mothers. Then it’s the bag of skin that surrounds the being and including the personality of the being that inhabits the skin. After that, it wants to attach itself emotionally to another being. (Oh and I don't want to leave out attachment to objects like cars and other material things.)

The cosmic joke is that we are all already connected. There is no reason to force this upon another or ourselves. But we do it in an effort feel connected because we feel separation being stuck in different physical forms. It's part of what the masters call the "illusion."

Also, we humans do "attachment" to be irresponsible. We make the other responsible for our feelings and our "human" experiences. We do not want to be responsible for choosing and creating the experience for ourselves. So, we look around for someone to hang the cause of our experiences, feelings etc. on.

And we get attached to the meanings we give everything (like good and bad) and the emotions about everything (like happy and unhappy) and then we're in an either or mess.

That's pretty much the whole story for human beings.

By teaching Tantra as a way of life, I'm hoping to free people from the pain and suffering of that way of being if they want to be free. This then becomes a very difficult question because if they say they want to be free, they have to go to the unknown. There are no models around for being free - only pain and suffering. And for most people, they would rather choose the pain and suffering than go to the unknown, much too much fear of that!

So, the pattern continues on earth even in some of the most educated, quasi-enlightened beings. Just don't want to let go of attachment to "the identity" and the polarized thinking.

How do I know? I'm one of those people who have now had glimpses of another way of being. It's not a constant yet. I still slip back into wanting the familiar and the "security" of a "traditional relationship". AND I know, it's an empty prize basket, but when I'm having a typical human moment, I'm in upset and wanting what I'm wanting for appearances, for comfort, for whatever.

Luckily, I have the witness well trained now to kick in and wake me up. And there are people around me who can intervene if I'm having a particularly difficult time. They mirror to me really who I am and I stop the resistance and the suffering.

I am my beloved. I am "The Beloved". Everything is perfect right now.

So, all this to say that it doesn't mean not to have a relationship. It means have one with yourself. Then have a responsible one that you create from nothing, no previous picture, no fantasy, no fetish. Be responsible for it and to it and have a commitment freely chosen, not an attachment out of addiction.

Once you have that, you can really fly and have a Tantric union beyond your wildest dreams.

Why would you settle for anything less?

The question is and always will be - "What do you want?"

If someone in your life were "the one", they'd be glad to do anything and everything you want to do to get yourselves ready for Bliss and Ecstasy and beyond. If they're not, then why fool yourself?

It's actually a very non-emotional thing to look at. Is he/she or isn't he/she? If he/she's the one, invite them into your world. If not, just have sex or not, but don't make it into what it isn't in your mind. Don't play tricks on yourself by forming an attachment. It's then just another lesson of the same variety of lessons we all keep going through until we don't.

See where I'm going with this?